Another day in paradise.....

Well due to ill health and work commitments, I’ve not seen us play since the Uxbridge game at home in November, no bad thing you may think and perhaps you’re right. 

At the time of writing, this once proud Non-League Club sit rock bottom of the league and seemingly without any idea of how to change things. 



I care about this club, and it really upsets me the way the club has imploded so badly since the London Senior Cup victory and then failed to build on the crowds and new supporters we were getting that short time ago. The club missed a massive chance to build on the interest shown by newcomers. Covid hit the club badly, to lose two seasons including the income from the other interests at the ground would have had a huge effect on things. In many respects the ground is far too big for us. The facilities, rates, insurance, and maintenance must be a huge drain on finances. 

I don’t believe the club was set up to fail but I do think that at this moment of the club’s history it is failing dramatically. With Steve Adkins stepping away from things, Tony Cox has stepped in to oversee what’s going on. Although, to his credit he makes himself available to fans at games. But he seems totally oblivious to their feelings and worries about the club. Talking to people as if they were employees and not supporters who have been regulars at Tooting games for many years and therefore don’t understand or need to be told what has happened and why it has gone so disasterly wrong. 

I’ve spoken to Steve Adkins on a number of occasions about the club and his hopes for it. I don’t believe for one minute he is happy with the way things are going. Why would anyone want a business to go so badly wrong? Maybe it’s time for a fresh pairs of eyes and a knowledge of running sports events etc to take a look at the current business plan and advise on moving forward. I wonder if the links with the Members Club and running of the club as it stands holds things back. A bit of honesty wouldn’t go a miss…. Caroline McRoyal leaving also had a big effect. She has not been replaced and we miss her influence at the club. 

The Members club although providing match day volunteers, helping raise funds though events and sponsorship needs a major shakeup. The mantra seems to be “We’ll get a volunteer to do it” or “We’ll get supporters to pay for it” seems to be the answer to everything, forgetting that a large part of our fan base will have very little time or disposable income to help out with. Well, good luck with changing that that with the drop in crowds and interest in the club goes elsewhere. Their reply to the open letter written on behalf of the supporter’s clubs raising concerns about supporter morale seemed to be ignored and not taken seriously. I get the feeling that the fact of that losing games, no matter how well the team have played will wear down support so much that people will stop going to matches, they simply don’t seem to understand. 



I have spoken to other fans at games and socially who have also said that unless there is a rapid change in fortune, they will also stop coming to matches. A large number of our regular support has already stopped. Many of these are long term Tooting and Mitcham United fans who have followed the club for decades who watched from the stands and terraces of Sandy Lane. This is not due to any coordinated boycott from fans or any hidden agenda from any groups, this is simply that many supporters are feeling less and less involved with the club and feel the club has lost its way. Many of the people I meet and spoke with when I first started coming to games, people who welcomed me into the Terrors Family are no longer seen at any of our fixtures. For the club to succeed we need to get big crowds. The bigger the crowds the more income comes into the place. The bigger the crowds the more people will volunteer to help. The bigger the crowds the more interest on social media and local media outlets. All aspects of our supporter based social media has dropped away to nothing. No posts, No Blogs, Nothing from fans on Twitter apart from doom and gloom. Supporter morale is at an all-time low, which is quite a statement when you look back over resent history. You need success on the pitch, winning teams will bring the fans back and attract new fans along. Relying on Supporters loyalty to turn up no matter how badly the team is doing is very naïve and does not work. 

On the pitch. A very stop start season with games getting postponed and called off for a number of reasons. Plus, the dreadful run in all of the cup competitions means the team has not had the chance to play together continually for any period. The coaching staff have brought in a number of new faces, but lack of game time means the team often seems to play as if they don’t know each other. 

I like Ashley, I’ve always got on well with him and personally I think he is a great bloke. Do I think he should still be the manager; well results are hard to argue with and at most other clubs he would have been replaced by now. But are the links between the Academy and the running of the first team so intwined that it is impossible to run things differently. One thing I don’t want to happen is that if things get worse and we do end up getting relegated, that Ashley is not thrown under the bus so to speak and blamed for everything that happened. I spoke to him after the Supporters Club letter went out. Spending some time at the ground watching him working and interacting with the pupils and staff there. We spoke about the team, playing budgets at Tooting and some of the playing budgets that other teams in our division are working with. This is a very difficult league with some clubs able to work with huge budgets. Is he good for the academy? Absolutely 100% … I want the Academy to work. I want to see pupils get something from their time at the club with Ashley and his team. Being a father, I want to see kids given a chance to build their knowledge and confidence. I know people at St Matthews Project, who know him and have worked with him. All saying what a difference he has made to peoples lives though working there and at Tooting and Mitcham. 

But… I also want the team to do well, and I believe the vast majority of our support feels the same. Are we a football team with an academy or are we an academy with a football team? What is the long-term plan? Is there a long-term plan? Will we the supporters ever get any form of answer. 

Come On You Terrors !!!!!!

Where to start.....

Right where to begin, 

To say that this season so far has been a complete disaster is not far short of the mark. Our home form has managed to be even worse than last season, which I’m sure none of us would think possible. We now find ourselves sitting in the lower half of the table with the Combined Counties looking up at us…. Out of both FA competitions, which in fairness we can only dream about winning or at the very least getting a couple of good games out of now gone for yet another season. Both trophies are considered money earners by clubs at our level and to go out of both so early on must be a big hit in the pocket of the club when it looks at playing budgets etc. Out of the League Cup which is no real surprise looking at our record in the competition is not surprising. Now out of the London Senior Cup, which is a personal favourite of mine. Now our only hope of any cup success is in the Surrey Senior Cup where we have been drawn against Chertsey, so let’s be honest, a very tough draw. Ashley looks as if he’s won a Tottenham Season Ticket in a raffle, and I don’t think I’ve seen him smile in ages. The players look to be suffering low morale and confidence wise and a lack of self-belief especially during home games. Away matches are better, maybe there is less pressure on the players when not at Fortress Imperial. This is a big worry and I’m think I ‘m right saying we’ve not won a home game in the league since December last year. We avoided going by the skin of our teeth last year. In truth two clubs going out of business done us a huge favour but even now I find myself looking at the clubs below to be having worse results than us. It’s only October but I think we need to get the mindset that we at the time of writing are in a relegation scrap. A couple of good results can see us climb the table but it’s hard to see where they are going to come from at the moment. There is a dark cloud hanging over the Bog End. I have not fingered my keyboard in ages, as the results have led to a big hit of “Writers” block as I honestly can’t think of anything to say. I could copy any number of blogs from the last couple of seasons, change a few names and post them up and no one would be any the wiser. The excellent social media output has dried up and it’s very hard to think of what to put out in regard to the club. Crowds are still good but the game against Westfield had a large number of staff from St Georges in attendance and they are not there every week. A number of regular fans have stopped going to home games and I don’t mean the tinfoil hat brigade on the forum. Some pretty heated discussions in the stands and on the terraces when even die-hard loyal fans are questioning the direction the club is taking. In a nutshell, low morale on and off the pitch on match days, low confidence and a huge lack of self-belief missing…. And it’s only October…. We all have our views on what to do to change things but one thing we can all agree with is that things need to get put on track before it’s too late. 

 Up The Terrors….

Heart Of Darkness

The Joseph Conrad story "Heart of Darkness" tells the tale of Charles Marlow, a sailor who takes on an assignment from a Belgian trading company as a ferry-boat captain in the African interior. This dark book is one I have read a number of times and would go as far to say it is one of my favourite books. It provided the inspiration for Francis Ford Coppola's epic 1979 film Apocalypse Now. A dark tale telling how normal men can turn into inhuman beasts, capable of committing the most dreadful of crimes. A story I can relate to after my trip back from Barking a couple of seasons ago.

 "You too can own this special commemorative 50 pence coin celebrating Tooting and Mitcham United's 2020 London Senior Cup Final victory over AFC Wimbledon for the special price of £79.99. These coins are a limited edition and will be highly sort after".

 Talking about bloody Marlow…… Yes, Dear reader, yet another defeat this time 2-1 at Fortress Imperial. Swap the mighty Congo or the Mekong Delta for the River Wandle and Steve Carpenter for Kurtz and you could do a sequel. The Police Helicopters that regularly fly over the Budge Lane estate could play Wagner out of loudspeakers as they hunt out signs of angry locals and burnt-out mopeds. 

 As for the game… You know what I’m going to say don’t you… Well, we should have got at least a point from this game but as per usual ended up with nothing to show for the hard work on the pitch. So, with that in mind, the last thing we really needed was a Tuesday night game against high flying Chertsey and guess what… You know what I’m going to say don’t you… Yes, Dear reader, another defeat this time 2-1 at Fortress Imperial. Well, we should have got at least a point from this game but as per usual ended up with nothing to show for the hard work on the pitch…… Oh for Fuck Sake. I could cut and paste my last few blogs and they would all look relevant. 

 We can go on and on about bad luck, I can mention the footballing gods having it in for us. We can all say how well we played and fought back, but the truth is, our defence can't defend, and our attack can't find the back of the net. I believe we are now on our fifth goalie so far in the season. The vast majority of goals conceded seem to be though defensive mistakes or bad communication at the back. I felt really down after the game against Chertsey, times like this I hate football. 

Those sexy chaps at South London Is Black and White set up a “Twitter Space” get together which gave us / me a chance to get things off our / my chest which was for me personally a good thing. 

 Visit: https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com 

And follow them on Twitter: @TaM_BaW 

 I’m sure they will be running so more counselling sessions in the future for us Terrors. Hope so. Spoke to Bog End Ant about doing one ourselves so watch this space.

"Right, just enough time for a quick wank before I log onto The Bog End forum"

 And then dear reader some joy. Just ignore my last couple of paragraphs of misrable bollocks... Sittingbourne beaten in the League Cup thingy trophy followed by back-to-back wins in the league against Chalfont and away to (Margaret) Thatcham. Neither games could be classed as being great matches, but I enjoyed them both immensely. We won ugly and against Thatcham even kept a clean sheet. Hurrah !!!! A good day out past Reading and hopefully next time we play them it will be on a nicer day weather wise. A good place to spend a Saturday afternoon. The locals were rather cruel about the dress sense of one of our fan’s choice of wet weather clothing, but we had the last laugh on the pitch. Of course, then we go and lose away to Binfield 1-0 after giving away a goal early on and we are back where we started. One step forward, two steps back. This season, Two clubs go straight down and third from bottom end up in some kind of playoff game with whoever finishes third in the division below. Not a game you would want to have at the end of the season. We are too good to go down. We have too many talented players to go down. Our management and coaches are too good to get relegated…. But it doesn’t matter. We can all name a team at some level on the Footballing pyramid who were “Too Good to Go Down” but did anyway. 

 A mid table finish seems very likely, but a couple more bad results could drag us back into the mix. A number of new players have come in and I feel a lot more optimistic than I did after the Chertsey game but obviously we need some more wins under our belts moving forward. 

 A shame to see Daryl Coleman leave. A great leader and fans favourite, I wish him the best wherever he goes. One of the worst things about football and no matter who you support is when popular players leave and go elsewhere. This happens a lot at our level and can happen for all manner of reasons. One good thing about our support is that we are always welcoming to our ex-players and generally always give out a warm welcome when paths cross. So, a lot to think about for the rest of the season. Will we turn things around, will we get hit with another lock down and will Jon Simpson ever wear that yellow jacket again? Only time will tell Dear Reader…. 

Her: He's thinking about other women.

Him: What coat shall I wear to Thatcham away next season.

 Up The Terrors !!!!

The Joy and Happiness of Football. (Part 87)

Hello Dearest Reader. It’s me again with more tales of joy and happiness, mixed in with the normal doom and gloom. More doom and gloom in truth in this one....

            Sorrow in his eyes

 Well the season has stated at last and now we can get on with the real good stuff and proper football. Fingers crossed we will all get to finish this season. 

As with last season, the mighty

Toots started their season with the FA Cup. 

 The magic of the cup, the old footballing cliché that comes back to haunt us all in our search for footballing nirvana and the chance of a trip to Wembley to watch our Black and White stripes defeat one of the evil Premiership Giants. 

I know the clubs at Tooting’s level have to win about 47 games to even get a sniff of some giant killing but there’s always hope. So, with this in mind, off we all went to Fortress Imperial to watch us take on South East London team Erith and Belvedere FC in the FA Cup. They come from the same part of the world that Fisher came from who beat us in last season’s competition… So, what could possibly go wrong. 

 Well quite a lot as it goes. 1-0 down in the first half We only seemed to get going in the second. Finally hitting the back of the net from a penalty to make the score 1-1. A good goalkeeping performance and a couple of shots hitting the woodwork keeping us from winning. 

But the cup dream was over on Wednesday night as we lost the replay 3-1 in extra time and again another penalty miss when the score was 1-1 with 12 minutes left to play. Once it came up on social media, we’d missed from the spot again I knew what was coming. 

 Pretty upset about this. The FA Cup is a chance to dream and a chance to maybe get a draw against one of our rivals or another further up the footballing pyramid. 

As I have said before we are in a league with no geographical or historical rivalry and the cup competitions are the only way to meet up with old friends and foes. To go out of the FA Cup so early now two seasons in a row to clubs we should really beat is a bit of a pisser. The Fisher game still gives me sleepless nights. Well beaten on the day by a team we should have done a lot better against. Fisher seemed well up for their game a bought a loud vocal following and well deserved their victory. I’m sorry, Erith and Belvedere FC were nothing special at Fortress Imperial and should have been put to bed at our place. 

TMUFC are a big scalp to take for many clubs, our history, stadium and fans make us arguably one of the biggest clubs at our level and in our league. I sometimes wonder if the club take clubs below us seriously enough and realise how much other clubs want to beat us. Another footballing cliché is the comment “It was their cup final” when clubs play against so called smaller clubs…. Every game should be a Cup Final if we want to seriously get out of this league and onto the next level no matter who we play. I honestly believe we would have made the play offs in both of the cancelled seasons and would go as far to say we might well have won it outright last season, but it was not too be. This is a huge season for us, let’s hope those Footballing Gods smile on us in the coming weeks.

              Woking Bound

 Anyway, enough of this miserable bollocks this early in the season. What better place to get over the disappointment than a trip to Woking for our first league game of the season against Westfield FC. A chance to visit the lovely home of the best Pizza Express going so I’m told by those “in the know”. 

 I once won a bottle of Jamaican Rum in their club raffle which turned out to be two years out of date according to the sell by date. Well worth the price of the ticket. Also we lost that game after a dreadful preformance, so what could possibly go wrong. Well, It’s fair to say that the day did not go as planned, if fact anything but. Millwall Will called it “A bad day at the office” which is a pretty good cliché and one that sums up the afternoon’s events perfectly. To start with, we had most of the ball without really causing them any problems right up to when Westfield scored their first goal and we were still in with a shout up until we gave the ball away in first half injury time with an inch perfect cross field pass to one of their bemused players which lead to the second goal. 

You could tell we were in shock after that and really didn’t create anything of note in the second half. Westfield scoring a third which put a full stop on things. Can’t hide the fact that this was awful. The after-match post-mortem in the bar was not good listening. A lot of Terrors had made the short journey down to Woking and I doubt if any would have had anything good to say at the final whistle. As I, Ant and Millwall Will headed through the park back towards the station we could still hear Tooting’s finest and Anthony’s role models serenading the locals with songs which had more to do with Fulham’s win than anything the mighty stripes had come up with. 

Oh well….. On a positive note we are only three points off the play off places and now have a bit of time to get things sorted out now we don’t have the FA Cup to worry about this coming Saturday. I’m concerned, but not quite as much as Prince Andrew must be after reading the morning papers over the last few days. At least he had fun in Woking.

"We went to Westfield.....By      mistake 

Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!!! 

Thanks as always to Jimmy and everyone over at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting for all their support. Jimmy sponsored the Erith game and has done so much to bring people together and get them down to games over the last few years….

Talking about great people, St Matthews Project are still doing great community work and putting on various events over the Summer holidays. Hope to see them soon over at Tooting Please go and visit: 

https://thesmp.net/ 

If you need a bit more intelligence with your reading material than this. Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff than this rubbish I come out with  https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/ 

 Finally, guess what….. 

There is a nice little brewery opened up on the Willow Lane estate. Drop Project Brewing Co. A couple of the Irish Lot went in to visit after the Erith game and I went to have a nose around the day after to stock up on supplies.

 The Drop Project Brewing Company Ltd Unit 8 Willow Business Centre 17 Willow Lane Mitcham CR4 4NX Walk-ins only. Dog Friendly. Under 18 curfew from 7pm. Disabled access and facilities. The main pedestrian gate to our estate is unlocked during the below opening hours. Opening Hours Friday 3-10pm Saturday 12-10pm Sunday 12-6pm 

https://www.drop-project.co.uk/ 

 Right, I’m off to sniff glue and listen to The Ramones…. Up The Terrors!!!!!!

El Northernlineico

Back again for more in-depth Football punditry, character assassinations and possibly outright cyber bullying from Hackbridge Towers by the banks of the mighty Wandle. 

Well, It's all over now. It didn't come home and just like those husbands that tell their wives they are just popping out for a pint of milk and then run off with some floozie. It doesn't look as if it ever will. But there is always a chance.... Isn't there...... Not all bad news though. The squad allegedly turning down the chance to meet Boris and chums for an "All you can eat" beans on toast buffet at Downing Street after some of the comments that came out of Downing Street and now we won’t have to hear “Three Fucking Lions” every time you turn on the radio. this alone is worth losing the final for. I enjoyed the Euros but as normal, the press, politicians and a small element of support really give me the hump. Football is a great sport and it really does bring out the best in people and can unite so many, but it can also bring out the worse in some and there are some right idiots out there. 

 Well back to proper football now and first up a trip to Raynes Park and a walk down the A3 for a pre-season game against Colliers Wood United (El Northernlineico). Yet another quite entertaining game which ended up 2-2 after Toots went two nil down in the first half. Rather against the run of play I must add. We also missed yet another penalty and really has got we worried that we have a curse on us, either that or the footballing gods get a kick out of the collective sigh that comes from our ranks every time we miss. 

Supporters on the Bog End watch as yet another penalty goes over the bar and ends up in the garage forcourt on Bishopsford Road

Old Tooting Star Sol Patterson-Bonner now playing for Colliers Wood and you'll be pleased to know that he is still his old lovable self when it comes to dealing with match officials. Good to see him again and he had a chat with the many travelling Toots in attendance. 

Then we were back at Fortress Imperial for another game on the back pitch against Molesey, Toots wining 1-0 and what I was told another entertaining game. I missed most of this by getting shown the new shop which will be up and running this coming season. A big Hug to Nick, Peter, Graham and of course Sexy Phil for all their hard work to get the shop sorted out and the area cleaned up. We will move into the old Stewards hut at the end of the ground near the rear 3G pitches (The Hackbridge End). Got new stock scarves plus a load more other groovy items. All cash I’m afraid as I’m not to be trusted with any form of technology that allows access to other people’s bank accounts. 

Next up a game against our neighbours Carshalton on the main pitch. Missed most of it setting up the Shop. A team from Sky TV were there filming and interviewed a couple of people including me. They seemed to want me to build the game into a Celtic v Rangers type blood bath of violence, hatred and bitterness instead of a Pre-Season friendly against a club I don’t really mind at all. They also seemed to want me to slag off ex-players who now play for the Robins, which of course I didn’t do. My dealings with the press and media have been few and far between, but in truth have never gone that well. Got a feeling my stuff will end up on the cutting floor when and if it does go out. I hope so anyway…. But there again, a media whore like me needs the oxygen of publicity and with my good looks I’m sure various agents will come knocking on the door offering places on the next “Love Island” or “Celebrity SAS are you butch enough” where I can show Ant Middleton how it is possible to live on a diet of Greggs vegan sausage rolls while watching the telly dressed in combat gear. As for the game, it finished 0-0 and Toots didn’t miss any penalties.

 Tuesday night and yet another PSF on the back pitch, this time a game against another local team Balham (El Northernlineico V2). Our part of South London really has some good football teams and set ups, Balham being one of them. The visitors winning 4-3 in another good game... Toots looking good up front, but defensively looking pretty bad on the night. Another healthy crowd and another chance to chat and work out what people can do to help promote the club. There is a lot going on behind the scenes over at Toots if you can spare any time to help please do. Clubs at our level always need volunteers for all kinds of things. 

Now available in the new club shop, The new CP Company range.

Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!!! 

Talking about great people…. Go and visit: 

https://thesmp.net/ 

Those fantastic people over at St Matthews who have done so much to help so many children in the South London area. Show them some love. With the summer holidays starting they are helping organise football classes for all ages, also helping make sure that there is food and drink for these kids. I’ve spent time talking to a number of people connected with SMP and I can honestly say that they are some of the most caring people going and are making a huge difference to so many young lives. 

Also those cheeky chappies over at https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/ 

Far better blogs than the rubbish I come out with and another group of people who have helped so much in improving TMUFC’s social media. They also know about football so if you crave information about our players and playing systems, give them a visit as they know far more than me…. Great Interview with Andy Harrup, who is one of the nicest people you could ever meet plus a load of other goods bits in their archives. 

 Of course, a big thanks to Jimmy and all over at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting for all their support over the last few years, home to the best Guinness in London and a load of Toots memorabilia up on the walls. 

 Well Dear Reader, that’s it for another couple of weeks, but looking back, another good thing to come from the Euros is that at least we know that thanks to the hard work done by teams of top scientists, medical professionals and the Health and Safety executive, that it is now safe to stick a lighted smoke bomb up your bottom. I think the older readers can all remember those dark days of footballing yesteryear when sticking any type of pyrotechnic up your bum after drinking Cider and doing a load of sniff was classed as very dangerous and could well ruin your rectum. How times have changed for the better. 

 Up The Terrors!!!!!!

Not Massive Anymore

Staines...Staines.... The Horror.... The Horror.... Apocalypse Now for  TMUFC..... The Horror..... But before that dear reader.... 

Tooting and Mitcham win at          Staines

All roads lead to Wembley... Or is it Rome. One of the two anyway and we are still on our way after a good win against Romford in the FA Trophy. Plenty of panicking behind the scenes in the days before the game as it was not certain how many would be allowed into the ground. Like most things these days nobody seems to have a clue what is happening from day to day. I've given up watching the news as I already struggle with working out who I can mix with, talk to, drink with, speak to and stalk on a daily basis. 

Another bumper crowd at Fortress Imperial to see us beat the cast of TOWIE. Two well taken goals sending us on our way to North West London and the arch over Wembley Stadium which I still think looks like a half closed toilet seat from a distance. Next up is a trip to sunny Bognor Regis on the South Coast, which looks like being a big away day for the Travelling Terrors. We have already bought loads of the online tickets which means another bumper away day.

On to Staines and a large group of Travelling Terrors headed out west to watch the mighty Toots play yet another so called bogie team, so called because they are. We have a terrible record against this lot. 

Songs about Ali G and Borat filled the air from the crowd which seemed to be at least half Toots fans. Even the harmonica got an outing. Well they're not massive anymore as Big Mitch pointed out.  A 4-0 victory perhaps helped by a dodgy red card which I'm told was harsh but as all Terrors know The Football Gods owe us a favour or two. 

Goals from

Troy Walters (21')

Elijah Simpson (76')

Jake Rose (81')

Dan Williams (90') 

Making sure the 3 points ended up on the banks of the Wandle.

The Staines stewards having their work cut out stopping the Bog End drinking cans on the terraces in a football version of prohibition  which was rather more Loch Ness than Elliot Ness in a futile attempt to stop people drinking. 

"Alcohol is the Devils Urine, don't drink it"

If you've started just coming to home games, please dip your toes in the Terrors Away Daze experience. The club has fantastic support both home and away.  

So goodbye and best wishes to Goalkeeper James Shaw who has left for pastures new. A great bloke and fans favourite who also helped those Cheeky Chappies at "South London Is Black And White" with a couple of well written blogs. Sad when popular players leave, but that is the nature of the game. I wish him well where ever he goes. Fingers crossed that our paths will cross again and "The Irish Lot" give him heaps of abuse for 90mins... Cheers James. 

I must add it is very very rarely I've heard our any of our ex players getting any grief for moving away. For some it just doesn't work out, for others, the chance to play for clubs above us in the footballing pyramid is understandably a reason to leave. Some find it hard to commit to balancing home, family and work commitments. The managers also have had to make difficult decisions, some of which at first make no sense to the fans in the stands or behind the goal but in reality are for the best of the team. 

We have lost a number of key players in the last few months and things might take a bit longer to sort out, but we are heading in the right direction as resent results have proved... Keep The Faith. 

Well lets hope they have finished the Bishopsford Road Bridge by May next year or the open top bus journey after winning the FA Trophy will involve us going up, down, then around Rose Hill roundabout half a dozen times. I might have to contact the local council about this and tell them to pull their finger out and get it sorted.   

Last but not least. A big thanks to all the match day volunteers who have helped things run so smoothly at our home games this season. A fantastic team effort off the pitch by everyone. Especially me.... and my ego. 

Up The Terrors.... 

#TwoTinsForTooting

Watch this space !!!!!

Top of the League....ish

Well all good in the hood as they say. Toots headed to the top of the League after away victories at FC Romania, Ashford Town and beating Harlow at Fortress Imperial. This all following the trip to Dunstable in the Trophy which turned out to be a great away day up Norf in the Land of the Stark Family. So of course, this would come to a crashing end at Fortress Imperial to Waltham Abbey, who depending on your views played a nasty, dirty game which unsettled the Terrors or as in my case lost to a team who defended well and didn't give Toots anytime on the ball. A special mention to their goalie who was 6'11" and commanded the area like a giant hairy sasquash patrolling the woods and forests of the American Pacific North West. All in front of a capacity  400 crowd which is very impressive, a shame they did not get to see a win. Tooting need to learn to play against the more physical teams. We can beat anyone if allowed to play football but as we all know, not all teams play like that. We also need to find our scoring boots pretty soon as just a hand full of goals so far this season needs to be looked at sooner rather than later. But I can't fault the effort or commitment of the players, things will work out but the home league form needs to improve for us to have a realistic chance of promotion or at least the play offs.

     Hands across The Wandle 

A lot of new supporters in the massed ranks of the Bog End at games which is so good to see. The word is definitely getting out to the people of South London that there is a vibrant Non League set up at our place. With no fans being allowed into games, I'm glad too see many fans dipping their toes into Non League waters, hopefully some will come to realise that an expensive day out at a Premiership or Championship ground is not the only way to get a Footballing fix these days. 

Chelsea hooligans in a Police escort at their away fixture at White Hart Lane last season. A world of difference from watching Non League Football.

A big thanks to everyone who has helped promote the club. We have also had a good few from Sutton United turn up at games seeing as unfairly they can't get into games at their level which does seem strange. A great meeting of minds involving the "Shoe Box" and the "Irish Lot" proved that Football is the universal language of people who like a drink or two. I honestly hope that Sutton are allowed to play in front of their fans soon. Bornatotter looking butch in a rather fetching green cardigan which made several fashion obsessed Bog Enders from The Ramble Inn rather jealous. It takes a brave man to wear a green cardigan out and about these days....or someone without a mirror in his house. 

A big thanks to everyone who have said they enjoyed the pod cast myself and Bog End Ant did with Ash from "Cathedral of sport" team, so much positive feed back which is very much appreciated.
Of course it won't be long before I'm being interviewed on Sky Sports News or having to kill a badger with my bare hands while being shouted at by Ant Middleton on "Celebrity SAS are you tough enough". Until then I'll stick to doing these blogs.

I don't often back up Premership teams but well done to Arsenal for getting rid of Gunnersaurus. It's about time The Premier League took a stand along side David Icke to defeat our Lizard Overlords. Gunnersaurus will be the first of many to feel humanities backlash in the battle for mankind.

      David Icke's arch nemesis

Hope to get the merch table up and running again soon, watch this space for any news. Just looking at how this can be done without getting in the way and having a knock on effect of the social distancing at home games.

Health update, along with still getting over a mild case of Covid which knocked me for six, I've just been told I have Diabetes Type 2, which has been a wake up call heath wise. No more comfort eating Snickers, Mars Bars or Twix along with a coffee with 6 sugars after yet another bloody defeat. Not to sure how Mrs H will react but I've told her I caught it off a toilet seat so it should be ok.

Country File

You have to watch yourself now with songs, especially if you are an exceptionally gifted song writer and harmonica player like myself.  

The Hackbridge Musical Sex God

When playing Sufolk side Needham Market a couple of seasons ago I along with a number of others on the Bog End were in the middle of a tuneful song about pig molesters when one of our stewards asked if "Pig Molesting" was a racist term. I was slighty worried about this as being a true snowflake lefty wefty and asked around the more politically knowledgeable on the Bog End for their views...To be accused of racism, sexism or animalism  when discussing the habits of people living outside London is something we must all be aware of in this day and age. I don't want readers thinking I spend my weekends defending statues around Westminster while wearing Stone Island in case the streets are filled with anarchic farmers hell bent on destroying London or more importantly the area around Hackbridge.I along with Tim Magone have worked out scientifically that people born and raised outside Zone 5 on the tube map are most likely to dance around may polls or chase cheese down steep hills as opposed to someone born in Lambeth, who finds it a little bit daft. League rivals Chipstead spend their pre season worshipping various Pagan gods and burning a 50ft Wicker man in the club car park. South Park club officals dress in animal skins and chase virgins around the town square at midnight before their first home game of the season. I will never truly understand those country types from the countryside and their strange rusic ways. I got worried the other day watching half naked people in Mitcham dancing around a fire, but it turned out to be local youths off their heads on cheap cider and glue watching a burning moped, not some satanic ceremony to welcome the second wave of Covid 19. 

The pre season game against Carshalton brought up the subject of "Pig molesting, Morris dancers" again as we visted the Robins and their "country ways" Lets hope that one day soon we will visit the straw munching six fingered bumpkins of Sutton United for a game, until then, I'm more than happy to carry on singing songs about Morris Dancing and bestiality to our rivals outside Zone 5 on the TFL Oyster card map and will continue to do so....

So the first league game of the season against Hertford, land of the broken lawn mowers if their pitch was anything to go by last year. Well as it was pointed out by Millwall Will we carried on our 100% start to the season by losing again, this time 2-1. The team looked as if they were trying to work out how to play as a unit instead of as a group of individuals. Very disappointing as it was in front of a 315 crowd on a lovely sunny day. Good to see Tom Jelley back in stripes and glad he was involved in our goal putting the ball into the penalty area for Jake Rose to head in.

Had a good chat with Lee and Jamie from St Matthews Project which didn't end up as a 90min old man rant about everything and anything going on at the moment in this green and pleasant land. Hopefully we'll put that right by the end of the season. Really pleased that the links between TMUFC and St Matthews have grown. They do so much work looking out for and helping young people in South London.

www.thesmp.net

www.facebook.com/St-Matthews-Project

Twitter : @smpbrixton

Well a big shout out to those brave men and women in the blue hi-vis jackets and the stewards who help get this game and the game against Fisher sorted due to the new Covid rules. Still a learning curve behind the scenes but things seem to be going well. Good also to see all the new faces turn up to watch the mighty Toots, fingers crossed they will have something to cheer shortly.

Don't forget to check out those cheeky chaps from South London is Black and White on Twitter and Instagram

@TaM_BaW

@southlondonisblackandwhite

They have bought two season tickets for this season to be used by people wanting to see the mighty Toots.... Please check their excellent blogs for more details.

Warren from SLIBAW also does the Match Day programme now and a very good job he does of it as well.

Yes I know people are a bit down and waiting for the first win, but we certainly have good players in the squad, just need them to gel a bit better.....

Up The Terrors.