Monday, October 15, 2018

Now that's what I call Tooting and Mitcham.


Tooting and Mitcham Supporters Club are proud to announce the CD and MP3 download event of the season :

 

Now that’s what I call Tooting and Mitcham








 

10 top tunes by some of music’s top international superstars and their songs inspired by watching the Terrors over the years. The perfect soundtrack for when your in the car after another away day defeat or sitting on a Thames link train reading the programme while sitting next to a tramp.
Sit back and relax and take a trip down memory lane and these fun filled tunes

 

  1. Hank Williams – “Tears by the Banks of the Wandle”
  2. Leonard Cohen – “Hallelujah, We got a corner”.
  3. New Order - “Beddington Sewage Plant”
  4. Lou Reed – “Night Terrors”
  5. Woody Guthrie – “Dulwich Got Promoted Blues”.
  6. Toots and the Maytals – “P6 - W1 - D1 - L4 was my number”.
  7. Slayer – “Terrorgasm Hate War”
  8. Susan Vega – “Letter to Mishi”
  9. Morrissey – “Oh Saturday, why me”
  10. The Cheeky Girls – “Fuck off Lino you cunt”.

 

 

 

It may be a big surprise to many of you how many famous faces have been regulars at TMUFC over the years. To celebrate this, the Supporters Club are to release a ground breaking CD showcasing the many talented bands and song writers that have graced the terraces and stands of Tooting and Mitcham over the years. Many have claimed that watching the club has brought out the best music of their entire musically careers.

While standing on the terraces at Tooting and Mitcham with other supporters it’s easy to see where the artistic process starts and where the path to musical greatness begins.






 

Folk legend Woody Guthrie often visited Tooting and Mitcham when touring the UK often saying how much he enjoyed the togetherness with the blue collar working class support that would stand together united on the terraces on a Saturday calling the referee a fat twatty bastard.

Lou Reed wrote his classic number “Night Terrors” after doing a combination of glue and heroin before drinking two cans of Special Brew during a Surrey Senior Cup tie against Leatherhead and then mistakenly getting the wrong tram at the Mitcham Tram Stop and ending up in Elmers End instead of Wimbledon. It was considered by many as one of his best songs after leaving the Velvet Underground.

Morrissey was often spotted at games gazing into the distance and thinking up sad and romantic lyrics while standing on the terraces at Sandy Lane. It is often said that Morrissey became vegan after watching Dave Irons eating a burger at Horsham one year. The haunting words of "Oh Saturday, why me, We scored one but those tossers scored three". are one that football fans from all clubs can relate too making this the prefect gift for anyone who watches Non League Football. Apart from Dulwich fans as they can make their own fucking CD... and probably have anyway. Bastards

Singer song writer and poet Leonard Cohen and Dave Lombardo, the drummer with hard-core thrash band Slayer both worked in Poundland in Mitcham during the late 80’s and were both often seen together at Sandy Lane drinking cider shouting at the match officials from the stands.

Country music superstar Hank Williams lived in Hackbridge for many years and wrote many of his most soul searching and reflective songs while getting pissed in the Goat Pub and wondering why he moved to Hackbridge in the first place. Going to watch Tooting and Mitcham helped him get over the troubling period in his very troubled life. One can only imagine the joy watching TMUFC gave him and this often showed in the lyrics of his later work.

Susan Vega was another regular at Terrors games before moving back to her native New York. Her classic song “Letter to Mishi” was penned after unsuccessfully trying to arrange a punch up between Dulwich hooligans and thugs based over at Tooting. Who can possibly forget her appearance on "The Real Football Factories" with Danny Dyer.

The New Order track “Beddington Sewage Plant” was written by Bernard Sumner and Peter Hook after their car broke down after a game with Chipstead and they had to wait for over six hours for the AA. Both claiming later that the 3-0 defeat and broken clutch were instrumental in both the lyrics and computerised drum beat. This unfortunately lead to the split in the band which still lingers today.

The Cheeky Girls were regulars at Imperial Fields until Monica was placed on a football banning order after a fight in the club bar at an away fixture at Ramsgate and then threatening to glass the referee during a home match with Tilbury.

 

We are still trying to sort out the cover artwork but the cover is likely to be various members of the “Bog End” dressed only in their underwear in an attempt to get more sales over the Christmas Period, either that or a bloke crying into his beer while sitting in the Witherspoons in Tooting Broadway, or we might just stick to the space thingy one nicked off the internet.




Legal Notice: Some of the information on this Blog was taken from Wikipedia and may need verification

 

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Groovy Days with Tim Megone

Hard to imagine Dear Reader if you have read any other of the blogs posted up that TMUFC had won any league games so far this season, but we've now at the time of writing won two games after a brilliant preformance against Hertford Town ended with a 3-1 win at the home of football. Here's "The Meg" Tim Megone to tell you all about the other Terrors victory over the mighty Chipstead in our "Big" local derby over the August Bank Holiday period and then he'll  bring you all down to Earth  with his take on the game against Hayes and Yeading which was not a victory in any way shape or form.
I know what my readers want and it's not happy clappy hippy bollocks.










Victory at last.
The Emperor’s Pastures throbbed with expectation at the prospect of glory on an August Bank Holiday, as we took on arch rivals Chipstead for the bitterly contested local derby that no one ever cared about, off the back of a faltering start to a new season of magic, mystery and quite possibly misery. 
We knew from the outset that our chums from the Surrey Hills would not simply stand aside in awe at our metropolitan super status and achievements in (morally) carrying off the FA Cup back in ’59.
Chipstead featured , amongst their ranks, former Tooting Youth Prodigy and midfield orchestrator Saidou (‘Citizen’) Khan, and longstanding  departed  hero, sweeping up at the back, Dean Hamlin.
Dean inspired the Amy Winehouse song, ‘Tried to take the ball of Deano, he said, no, no, no’, with the twelve-inch dance mix featuring the same track sung to the tune of ‘Men of Harlech’ by a Welsh male voice choir. It never did him any harm, of course, as those that saw his lung-busting foray and finish against Met Police in extra time of the Surrey Cup final over a decade ago will testify.
The euphoria of scraping though on Friday’s FA Cup night didn’t quite seep through as we struggled to make an impact and fell behind to the plundering villagers, a slip from Tope Fadahunsi on the right-hand side of defence exploited to the full as a marauding morris dancer burst through and thrashed the ball home. A wave of depression swept over the Bog End, solemn headshakes and bitter satire the all too familiar flavour of the moment.
But a few magical moments just before half time turned the world – or suburban Surrey anyhow – upside down. First Peter Wedgworth’s inswinging corner eluded the defence and was met with a nonchalant side footed volley by newcomer Brandon Tiller at the far post. Next, Isaiah Jones grabbed the contest by the bollocks and left Dean Hamlin for dead with a magical run before clipping the ball just inside the far post to put us ahead. The tortured Hamlin struggled to contain our rampant new prodigy and resorted to shabby foul play just outside the box as Isaiah put him on toast a second time, earning a custard coated card in the process.
Chipstead continued to pose a threat early in the second half but the Stripes’ defence held firm, an increasingly confident Liam Sallis putting his early season trauma behind him to make some vital saves. But, with the impressive Zac Coleman coming on as sub up front and causing chaos in the Stockbrokers’ ranks, the Terrors took control once again: it was right wing back Danny Bassett who put the seal on a sparkling triumph with a surging run down the flank, delivering a stinging rebuke to society in general, masquerading as a rasping low cross; a floundering defender half cleared, but Danny continued his run into the box to slam the ball gleefully into the net as the Bishop’s End erupted.
Our first League win in over six months: it would have been churlish, bordering on impertinent not to enjoy a mild-mannered orgasm and feast on the heroics for a few days. But was this but a false dawn, a titillating prelude to dark days of dog shit and despair? All will be revealed…




Runway Ruin
All those Captains of Industry who think that Heathrow expansion is the greatest idea since Sliced Armageddon should take a look at the Bostik League South Central, a league which boasts amongst its members a host of runways masquerading as towns and/or football teams in Middlesex.
Foremost amongst them are Hayes and Yeading FC, fallen on hard times since their heady days at the pinnacle of non-league football, but having fun with the lower orders and regularly trampling their newfound enemies into the dust. A few weeks ago, they took on the Mighty Stripes.
If official records are much of a guide, I have never seen us win in the league at either Hayes or Yeading.
However, my last visit to Yeading’s old ground was sixteen years ago, when we stormed into a 2-0 half time lead on a rapidly freezing pitch. In the second half, the frost held off, but the fog was in no mood to fuck about and shrouded the landscape in murk and mystery. From behind the goal, I spent the final half hour marvelling at nothing. The last I saw, we were 2-1 up and that is good enough for me. Meddling League officials later conspired to award the Middlesex non-entities a 3-2 victory.
In stark contrast the other week, we travelled west through sun-soaked desert to take a tilt at the title front runners. After a chaotic journey, I arrived a sweaty six minutes late: we had, apparently, taken a proper pummelling in those early stages, but somehow survived, and things didn’t get any better until about mid-way through the half when we began to string together a few pleasing moves and create the occasional opening. Billy ‘the Buffet Slayer’ Dunn wasn’t far away with a flick header from a Wedgeworth free kick but it was Isaiah Jones who provided the real threat once again and should have put us ahead. Outwitting and outpacing the defence, he burst through for a one on one with the keeper and slipped the ball past the floundering custodian, only to see it roll agonizingly past the post.
Still, 0-0 at half time was a moral victory of sorts and probably exceeded expectations: a few believers/masochistic perverts dared to dream of glory. But it’s the hope that kills you and sure enough, we fell to bits early in the second half. Danny Bassett at wing back spent most of the afternoon looking about as comfortable as a badger at a Young Farmer’s disco, and halted a Hayes attack with a panic-stricken lunge. The ref pointed to the spot and retribution was duly delivered.
It got worse: Danny was sent off after about twenty minutes last season for doing the hokey-cokey at Hendon’s Kingsbury ground. To the disbelief of millions, including the home fans, the ref waved a blood drenched card and doubtless walked away with a handsome reward for engineering the eventual 4-0 home win with a series of shit decisions. The splendour of his decisive strike against Chipstead the previous week gave way to a tale of torment as Danny saw red in the north west once again, aided by an abysmal piece of acting from his ‘victim’ (though treacherous observers conceded his challenge may have had a twinge of two footedness about it). Two more goals followed and humiliation loomed large.
By the time we were awarded a penalty of our own, Isaiah clipped from behind in the box after another titillating run, followed by mass protests from the deluded undercarriage fetishists, the contest was over. Wedgworth’s undercooked strike from the spot was shovelled away by the keeper, and we settled for a 3-0 spanking. A day of pain anaesthetized later on in the pub, as we consoled ourselves that maybe Hayes are a half decent side and our shortcomings wouldn’t be as harshly exposed against the lesser lights of the pig farm parade that is the Bostik South Central





Monday, October 1, 2018

Gosh

I honestly though we might be over the worse but alas the footballing gods had other ideas after the game at FA Cup game at Woking. Although we lost it was a good day out and the team played well. That idea went out the window when soundly beaten at home by Bedfont in the Tuesday night relegation six pointer in front of a crowd of 119. Looks like a few of our long suffering fans thought "Eastenders" or "Ancient Aliens" would be a more enjoyable way to spend a Tuesday evening than a game at Fortress Imperial. Hard not to blame them really.


One of the Tooting Yoof in darkest Essex



But Saturdays are what Football is all about. The excitement, the chance for glory, the chance to wear a £700.00 Stone Island coat and impress your friends. God forbid that I end up spending my Saturday afternoons in the Asda in Beddington looking at items in the "world food isle" dreaming of all the exotic places I've been to with Tooting and Mitcham. Mind you Mrs H was told by one of the check out staff about a big punch up in the car park between two women after one called her arch nemesis  "Penis Breath". Can't be long before "Asda Fight Club" is on pay per view on Sky Arts. although I reckon ring side seats by the disabled parking spaces would be the best place to watch the locals come to blows over dental hygiene. Maybe Tyson Fury should start calling Anthony Joshua "Penis Breath" in the hope that he might get a chance at the Heavyweight title. Although my money on most of the local girls in Mitcham to be able to take the pair of them over nine rounds....Even Mrs H.



So another chance to head to Wembley this time in the FA Trophy was the perfect way to forget about our league form and give the club a well needed boost. Myself and Bogend Ant left the house full of happiness and joy, skipping down the road like characters  in an Enid Blyton book, armed with a a nutritious pinic of Pringles and Kit Kats for our journey to the marsh lands of Essex for the game with Aveley. Another nice stadium which does however resemble a Police Station from the outside and the delightful chips could not hide the fact that going one nil down in under two minutes meant that deep down all the travelling Terrors knew this would be another fucking shit day out. 
I do wonder what the Tooting and Mitcham players say in their pre match huddle just before kick off. My guess is "Lets see if we can make Hackbridge Harry cry today". The Aveley number three proved to be rather entertaining as he rolled around the ground yelling every time any Tooting players went within two foot of him. Can't imagine he'd last too long in an Asda car park with faced with one of our local beauties.








A sideways view of a "Tired and emotional" Tim Megone after Saturdays defeat in the FA Trophy.


One frightening thing at Saturdays game was that myself and Millwall Will found what we though maybe a bottle of Novichok on the terraces during the second half. Having discussed weather the Russian Secret Service has it in for Tooting and Mitcham and fitted in a little trip to Aveley to try and kill us all after fixing all of our league games this season. Of course that didn't stop Will trying to drink the stuff after the third goal went in.








Although the road to Wembley is blocked off for another season, we still have a League Cup game away at Burgess Hill to look forward to, a home tie with Harrow Boro in the London Senior Cup and Real Madrid away in the Surrey Senior. So we is still a chance for silverware.... We play Herford in the league next Saturday and I wonder how the Footballing Gods looking down on us then will treat us then.




I'll leave the last words to Bogend Ant which I've nicked off his Twitter Account :

I'm sure good times like these will come back... But we just have to wait... You have to experience the bad times before the good #Terrors


Monday, September 24, 2018

Plum Army

Well the new away strip has had a couple of outings now and in truth there has not been the anger and outrage which I thought there would be from the massed ranks of the Gammony Bog End. "Plum Army" sing the Travelling Toots and in fact there are now a number of Plum related songs for us Terrors to sing.... Remember it's not pink.... well maybe just a little bit

I suppose it's all down to the love in between ourselves and Dulwich Hamlet since they started squatting with us last season. In the age when North and South Korean leaders can shake hands and be left in the same room as each other with out coming to blows maybe the world is changing for the better. Tooting and Mitcham wearing a Pinkish (Plum) away strip to show support and solidarity with Dulwich Hamlet and Dulwich Hamlet being in the bottom half of the table to show their support and solidarity with Tooting and Mitcham.
The food bank collection on Saturday 15th against Ashford Town went well and a big thanks to the people who helped me get this arranged and a really big thanks to Sam and Tim for dropping the collection off to the brilliant people over at Wandsworth Foodbanks. A terrible shame that places like this are around in this day and age. The Terrors did me proud in the day as well as loads of various food items a collection was also made which got sent over as well.  Cheers Everyone x
Of course in the true sprit of charity Tooting and Mitcham donated 3 points to Ashford Town in a match I'm quite glad to say I missed most of....







Yours truly doing the Foodbank collection... Looking like I've just helped myself to a load of the stuff.








Next game however was Margate in the League Cup. Never been that keen on that particular  seaside town and to be perfectly honest the sooner global warming comes along and turns the place into fucking Atlantis the better. But Toots won 2-0 so a happy night for 70 or so paying punters who turned up for a competition we have regularly been pants in. Went home very happy and so far this season we have had our good performances in the various cup competitions, so put your money on us winning the Surrey Senior and getting relegated. Could be worth a punt.









The Road To Wembley..........Maybe next year



So after the last minute winner in the FA Cup against Horsham YMCA  we were drawn away to Woking in the next round. A last minute goal for Tooting is a rare thing unlike the last minute goals given away by Toots which is quite common..... And we had a player sent off which is par for the course as well. Woking are flying high in their league but they were beaten at home by Dulwich so there's always a chance. Could be the giant killing we have all been waiting for !!!!!! When Dulwich played there in the league there was ground segregation no doubt to stop the citizens of Woking having to try and watch the game without having some pink clad loon wave an inflatable giraffe or palm tree in their face while banging on a sodding cow bell. They are a strange lot who follow Dulwich, trying to make supporting their team a fun filled event full of happiness, joy and smiles. Something we don't tend too do at Tooting and Mitcham and quite frankly we all look down on people who enjoy themselves when going to football.... It's just not the "Tooting" way. Glad to see that no one on the Bog End brings anything inflatable to games although I have a feeling that behind closed doors there are a few inflatables in regular use by one or two of our supporters.

Well Dear Reader we lost 4-0 but the score really didn't reflect the effort and hard work the team put into the game. Had a good laugh at the Kingfield Stadium with a rather vocal group of Terrors who sung their heads off for the entire game.




Paul Weller comes from Woking and I will happily admit that the first few Jam albums were some of the best bits of music released in the late 70's but the last couple of Jam albums and that Style Council shite leaves me cold plus the fact he strikes me as being only just a little bit less of a tit than either Bono or Sting. I believe he likes to be known as The  Modfather which in all honesty sounds better than "That Smug Twat" which he is known as in Hackbridge Towers. H G Wells also lived there for a bit and I'd rather listen to him playing Bagpipes and banging on dust bin lids after a glue sniffing session than having to sit through anything Weller has come up with in the last 30 or so years. Modfather my arse.....


"We are the plums, we are the plums, we are, we are, we are the plums"
"We are the plums, we are the plums, we are, we are, we are the plums"
"We are the plums, we are the plums, we are, we are, we are the plums"





Friday, September 14, 2018

Sir Tim Megone writes again

There is a block buster movie out at the moment starring the world famous Shakespearean actor Jason Statham about a fucking great big prehistoric monster shark with a fucking big mouth called "Meg" At Tooting and Mitcham we have our own big mouthed prehistoric monster Meg... Sir Timothy Megone. If ever there was a man who should be starring in block buster movies fighting monsters it really should be "Our Timmy" as his stunning good looks and manly body would drive the public wild with desire and lust. Forget Idris Elba, Tim should be the next James Bond.
I am not a religious man but when ever I see Tim's words of wisdom I can not help but wonder about reincarnation and if that William Shakespeare has come back a bit like Dr Who into the body of Tim Megone

Here's Tim's take on Friday Night Football and the FA Cup.


Up until recently, I had always associated Friday nights with falling over in discos or silent vigils in forest clearings as druids burn effigies of pink and blue omelettes. But just over a fortnight ago, Friday became a by word for cup fever, in truth yet more humiliating recognition of our relegation to second class status at the Fields (Dulwich playing at ‘home’ the following day in the league), but an opportunity nonetheless for revival of the sacred cause.
As kick off approached, the bar was crowded but that horny sense of late summer anticipation was a million miles away. Instead, the stench of depression wafted amongst the hordes, shaking heads and bitterness the new currency on a scale not known for a good two decades.
The scars of last season had not healed: the complacency (only one team from 24 would go down, was the oft repeated refrain, surely it won’t be us?) that had set in so early during last season’s doomed relegation fight and been allowed to prevail unchecked almost to the end was not forgotten, nor forgiven. Just to rub salt in the wound, the popular but discarded player of the season, keeper Matt Pierson had left the club.
It’s worth recalling last season’s player of the year award, when Imperial Fields’ answer to the Oscars was held shortly after the gut-wrenching final home league defeat against Harlow, a near fatal wound that sent us sprawling in agony to the edge of the abyss (Met Police finishing the job with a couple of baton blows to the bollocks the following week).
With most of the fans that stayed desperate to be almost anywhere else, Golden Goal seller and Supporters’ club supremo Dave Irons gleefully announced the winner, only to find that Matt had already buggered off home. Undeterred, Dave - previously best known for bin chucking and moccasin tossing heroics - held the trophy aloft to bemused silence, while the remnants of the Bog End drank themselves into oblivion.    
Back to this season and the preliminary round FA Cup tie against Gatwick wannabes Horley Town from the Combined Counties League, a tier below the Mighty Stripes. Surely now was the time to get behind the young team, rather than castigate them for crimes not of their making. In theory, yes, but it was all a bit shit to begin with, the upstart baggage fondlers resisting with ease our faltering attempts to get forward. Horley grew in confidence and began to build a couple of attacks of their own: a dodgily awarded free kick ensued, followed by a speculative cross that drifted beyond young keeper Liam Sallis and into the net and yet another disaster loomed large.
Tooting looked stricken and more bitterness rent the air, but towards half time the tie was dramatically transformed, the ever-dangerous Isaiah Jones the catalyst for revival and riotous celebration. Shredding the defence with a trademark foray into the box, he was clipped from behind and the ref pointed to the spot to angry protests from the South Surrey runway squatters. Returning hero Billy Dunn strode up and netted with aplomb.
It was Billy again who found the net with a deft header from a Wedgeworth free kick to send the masses into ecstasy, the mood of the Bog End fervent once again, depression dispersed – at least for the time being. With Sallis growing in confidence and Nexus Beeden, built like a floodlight and dominant at the back, we took control in the second half, Isaiah continuing to torment the defence before eventually being scythed down once too often – ending his contribution for the night - by an ever more desperate defence. Fingernails were nibbled and bowels ripped open as injury time continued into the early morning for a nerve shredding climax, but we hung on and for the first time in months, tasted victory, and cast our gaze at the prospect of more cup frolics.


Sunday, September 2, 2018

In an industrial estate, far, far away.

Well by this time last year we had already had Staines put 6 past us in our second game of the 2017-18 season and then Enfield putting four past us at home. At least we have won one league game and picked up 4 points in 4 games. Not really the end of the world but seeing as I'm writing this the game after our trip to Hayes and Yeading United so I hope you can understand and forgive me yet another bleak and depressing blog. Yet we arrived in West London on the back of a 3-1 win against Chipstead who are in terms of this division our big local rivals. I can never be to harsh on them though as Trevor S... The bus driver and one of the nicest people you could ever meet goes there and does their Twitter feed. So two wins over the Bank Holiday period had set us up nicely for our second trip down the A40 in a couple of weeks... But it was to end in tears....



Now if you can remember and if you follow The Terrors, how could you ever forget, in our first game at Northwood we gave away a 3-1 lead and in the space of the last 15 minutes conceded 3 goals and lost the match 4-3. At H&Y in the space of 12 minutes we gave away a penalty had a player rightly sent off for a two footed challenge, gave away another scrappy goal and then to top it all off let in what was in all truth a fantastic shot to make it three goals and a sending off in 12 minutes. A bit later on the H&Y goalie made a good save from a penalty from Peter Wedgeworth after Isiah Jones was brought down after a good run into the box.

Brilliant......

Yet another large group of travelling Terrors made the journey along the A40 to west London for yet another fun filled afternoon this time in the middle of an industrial estate stuck in the middle of nowhere.  Hayes and Yeading are second in the division and in all honesty were favourites' to win. Maybe if we'd not given the penalty away and had a player sent off we may well have lost anyway, but to hand the game to them on a plate when we were more than holding our own hurts. No chips on sale in the ground and building work still being carried out on what I'm sure will turn out to be quiet an impressive ground when the work is complete just added to the "Match Satisfaction". Just outside the ground is a beautiful looking Sheik Temple which brought back memories of Hendon away where the ground is overlooked by another very impressive and again beautiful Sheik Temple. Another thing that brought back memories of Hendon away was that there, last year, the same player was sent of for another bad challenge which lead to us getting stuffed 4-1 when trying to play a team at the top of table with only ten men. We have been described as "Promotion Favourites" by a number of people connected with the Bostik League, I can only imagine they have spent the last few months sniffing their company products and talking to people who haven't seen us play over the last 12 months. All clubs have high expectations for their respective teams. It seems like many over at Hayes and Yeading, players and supporters think they already have this division sown up and maybe they are right, quite a few of the travelling Terrors said as much themselves, but whether this was said to make themselves feel better about the result must also be taken into consideration. Many said the same about Staines Town last year after they totally stuffed us both home and away and they finished outside the play off places.



I don't expect TMUFC to win every match and I fully understand that there will be times when the footballing gods will laugh in our faces and the forces of darkness will descend upon us the great fury and anger. But we need to sort out this out sooner rather than later. We can look at the table and see other clubs who may well struggle in this league and who could be said to be out of their depth but we said that last year about Burgess Hill and Harlow who held up the bottom of the table until we stepped in near the end to take the one relegation place on offer. Two teams go down this season we need to make sure that we aren't one of them. We may well arguably be one of the best known teams in the Bostik South Central. I'm pretty sure we are the best supported at home and away. Tooting and Mitcham have a great History and are a well known club.... But that counts for nothing if the club doesn't start to gel together. Yes I know.... More Doom and Gloom but I care about this club and it's future and I honestly say that we could / should end up in a few years time in the Conference South which I believe a club like Tooting and Mitcham should aim for. This season I'll be happy with a mid table finish which will hopefully give us a stronger base to build on ready for the 2018 -19 season. Good cup runs would be a bonus and help take any pressure of the league. Don't let anybody tell you the Surrey and London cups aren't important. I've seen Toots win a couple of London Senior Cup Finals and loved every minute of it.

 Yes there are a number of plus points. The two home crowds have been significantly higher than expected and a lot of new faces have turned up to watch us play. The social media and promotional side has improved thanks to a large number of volunteers  who have help spread the word. On the pitch Isiah Jones is getting better every game and is a joy to watch. The goalie Liam Sallis is now finding his feet and showing what he can do after the unfair criticism which came his way at the start of the season. Many of the younger players coming through from the Under 23's are looking good and match experience at this level can only be good for their long term development.

Next trip for The Terrors is over to Horsham YMCA in the FA Cup. Will we be dancing like Village People or shoe gazing like Joy Division at 6pm next Saturday.

 
 
 

Sunday, August 26, 2018

The magic of the Cup

I love the FA Cup, my days following the "Glorious Gooner Gunners" meant I've seen many great games and finals but since giving up the sky premiership circus my love affair with this fantastic competition has however not been as exciting and fun filled. Far from it in fact.  Tooting and Mitcham have quite a good record in the FA Cup but of course I've missed all that. The cup run in 1959 and the defeat by Nottingham Forest is still sung about on the Bog End terraces despite the fact that most who stand on there weren't born then. A couple of runs in the 70's and which lead to games against Swindon and Crystal Palace and Bradford are still talked about by older Terrors as great moments in the clubs history. The game in the 1st Round in 2005 an away tie against Stockport was a well attended game by a large group of drunken South Londoners who saw the club loose 5-0. But it's not all about victorious games and celebrating winning trophies when following a club like Tooting and Mitcham, if we wanted victories and a packed trophy cabinet we'd all go and watch Crystal Palace.

 


But as my time following the Terrors only stretches back about 12 years my memories of FA Cup glory are very limited. A game in 2013 at Leatherhead which as per normal ended in defeat which sticks forever in my mind for their goalie getting his shorts pulled down by a couple of herberts with the travelling bogend when he was about to take a goal kick. The following week in a league game there we lost 5-1 and In the second half Bogend Ant got stung by a wasp which caused quite a scene and yet again made me question my decision to take the poor little sod to games.... especially ones in Leatherhead. They had also beaten us in the FA Cup the year before... and in the league which we both attended.  I've never seen TMUFC beat Leatherhead which makes them one of the 73 boogie teams the Terrors currently have at the moment. Leatherhead along with Berlin have had a wall that fell down in resent history and helped changed the course of events afterwards. Ask any Dulwich fan for an explanation if you get the chance.

Then the season after there was a very small FA Cup run that took us to "Mighty" Bishops Stortford after a last minute winner took us past Cray Wanderers. We dominated the game getting a draw before beating them at Imperial Fields. memorable for some of The Bishop supporters who turned up, called us minnows and refused to buy programmes and entre the "golden goals competition"etc. so as not to give any money what so ever to TMUFC and acted like total smug bell ends in the knowledge that they were a "bigger" club. Their manager was also a lovely smug prick of a man who got sacked shortly afterwards. Some victories are made even better when the opponents fans are class A twats. Of course we lost to East Thurrock in the next round but both the Stortford games were special. Now I'm not saying all Bishop Stortford fans are wankers, just the ones I've met and the ones I've spoken to.


Bog End Ant, Leader of the Tooty Wooty Boot Boys taking total liberties over at Bishops Stortford


Nothing else springs to mind since then apart from various other defeats the in worlds greatest cup competition.... But maybe this could be the year. A great crowd of over 300 turned up on a wet and windy Friday night to watch us beat Horley Town, A game moved to Friday due to the Pink and Blue Squatters having a "Home" league game on the Saturday which out ranked the FA Cup for some reason... But in truth the Friday night thing worked, of course the victory helped but the bigger than expected crowd and the packed bar meant that the Bank Holiday weekend started with a bang and an awful lot to drink for many. We were "Blessed" with a couple of Sutton United Supporters including the world famous musical sex machine @bornatotter who knows a lot about the magic of the FA Cup and the magic of FA Cup songs. All of us wait with baited breath to see who Sutton get when they enter the FA Cup this season, while he stares at his guitar dreaming of Pop Stardom and the chance to get on Football Focus again as the comedy time filling bit at the end. We'll I'm hopping to get either Spurs or Man United in the next round... We'll probably end up with bloody Leatherhead again... Let hope it pisses down with rain.....