Sunday, September 20, 2020

Country File

You have to watch yourself now with songs, especially if you are an exceptionally gifted song writer and harmonica player like myself.  
The Hackbridge Musical Sex God

When playing Sufolk side Needham Market a couple of seasons ago I along with a number of others on the Bog End were in the middle of a tuneful song about pig molesters when one of our stewards asked if "Pig Molesting" was a racist term. I was slighty worried about this as being a true snowflake lefty wefty and asked around the more politically knowledgeable on the Bog End for their views...To be accused of racism, sexism or animalism  when discussing the habits of people living outside London is something we must all be aware of in this day and age. I don't want readers thinking I spend my weekends defending statues around Westminster while wearing Stone Island in case the streets are filled with anarchic farmers hell bent on destroying London or more importantly the area around Hackbridge.I along with Tim Magone have worked out scientifically that people born and raised outside Zone 5 on the tube map are most likely to dance around may polls or chase cheese down steep hills as opposed to someone born in Lambeth, who finds it a little bit daft. League rivals Chipstead spend their pre season worshipping various Pagan gods and burning a 50ft Wicker man in the club car park. South Park club officals dress in animal skins and chase virgins around the town square at midnight before their first home game of the season. I will never truly understand those country types from the countryside and their strange rusic ways. I got worried the other day watching half naked people in Mitcham dancing around a fire, but it turned out to be local youths off their heads on cheap cider and glue watching a burning moped, not some satanic ceremony to welcome the second wave of Covid 19. 
The pre season game against Carshalton brought up the subject of "Pig molesting, Morris dancers" again as we visted the Robins and their "country ways" Lets hope that one day soon we will visit the straw munching six fingered bumpkins of Sutton United for a game, until then, I'm more than happy to carry on singing songs about Morris Dancing and bestiality to our rivals outside Zone 5 on the TFL Oyster card map and will continue to do so....

So the first league game of the season against Hertford, land of the broken lawn mowers if their pitch was anything to go by last year. Well as it was pointed out by Millwall Will we carried on our 100% start to the season by losing again, this time 2-1. The team looked as if they were trying to work out how to play as a unit instead of as a group of individuals. Very disappointing as it was in front of a 315 crowd on a lovely sunny day. Good to see Tom Jelley back in stripes and glad he was involved in our goal putting the ball into the penalty area for Jake Rose to head in.
Had a good chat with Lee and Jamie from St Matthews Project which didn't end up as a 90min old man rant about everything and anything going on at the moment in this green and pleasant land. Hopefully we'll put that right by the end of the season. Really pleased that the links between TMUFC and St Matthews have grown. They do so much work looking out for and helping young people in South London.
Twitter : @smpbrixton

Well a big shout out to those brave men and women in the blue hi-vis jackets and the stewards who help get this game and the game against Fisher sorted due to the new Covid rules. Still a learning curve behind the scenes but things seem to be going well. Good also to see all the new faces turn up to watch the mighty Toots, fingers crossed they will have something to cheer shortly.

Don't forget to check out those cheeky chaps from South London is Black and White on Twitter and Instagram
They have bought two season tickets for this season to be used by people wanting to see the mighty Toots.... Please check their excellent blogs for more details.
Warren from SLIBAW also does the Match Day programme now and a very good job he does of it as well.

Yes I know people are a bit down and waiting for the first win, but we certainly have good players in the squad, just need them to gel a bit better.....
Up The Terrors.  


  1. I hate to tell you but the mighty Toots passed away this week 😢

  2. I know. Very sad news, I love 70's reggae and he was brilliant 😞

  3. I know. Very sad news, I love 70's reggae and he was brilliant 😞