Wednesday, November 17, 2021

One Minute

I’m back Dear Reader for more tales of the joy of following Tooting and Mitcham from my luxury office here in Hackbridge Towers. As I gaze out of my window and look over at the wonderful Beddington Sewage Works which looks over the local inhabitants like a grand medieval castle, my thoughts turn to football as I try to forget the raw shit that was pumped into the River Wandle a couple of weeks ago. 
"My Dear Ratty, It's not smelt like this since Dulwich ground shared"

 I’ll gloss over the victory against Guernsey as I was not there, but I was jolly happy seeing the result. Also, the victory over Met Police in the Surrey Senior Cup which I think was the first time I’ve seen us beat them. A crowd over 80 at Fortress Imperial was bigger than what we would normally expect in the early rounds of that competition. The crowd including the mass ranks of Stone Island wearing Daily Mail and Express readers who follow Met Police over Land and Sea…. 
Next up an away fixture over at Ashford, but both me and Bog End Ant thought we’d give that a swerve and go and watch our near neighbours AFC Croydon play Fleet town where we happily paid our money and joined the fun and games at the back of the cemetery. Croydon in their previous life were used to getting big crowds but only around 50 turned up for this fixture including a few from Fleet. AFC Croydon started the game by doing a “Tooting” which means they went 1-0 down in less than a minute, possibly around the 15 second mark…. I thought it would be amusing and make a funny little tweet about them out doing anything that Tooting and Mitcham had done so far this season by giving a goal away in under a minute. So, you can imagine how I laughed when finding out by the time I’d written and then posted my humorous tweet at the expensive of AFC Croydon that Toots had gone 1-0 down away at Ashford in under two minutes. Mr Fucking Chuckles strikes again. 
With that in mind you can also guess the size of my grin when visiting Basingstoke, a week later Tooting managed to go 1-0 down in under a minute yet again. Christ knows what the managers and coaches must say to the team before kick-off or what the players say to each other doing the pre match huddle… My money is on “Let’s make Harry cry”. 

 We played well at Basingstoke losing 3-2 to a dodgy penalty which came seconds after Billy Brown was brought down for what all the travelling Terrors in the 653-crowd thought was a free kick, but to be chasing the game after the first minute again puts far too much pressure on the team. We should have left with a point but didn’t and that has been the story of this season so far. For any lovers of Drum and Bass I suggest heading over to Basingstoke on match days to join in with the two D&B throbbers who stood behind the goal and keep the crowd “entertained” throughout the game. No wonder so many of the locals seemed pill’ed up and off their heads. But credit where credit is due having a song about us sounding like Janet Street Porter was pretty funny. 
"Next time I go to fucking Basingstoke, I'll ram a drumstick up his ring piece"

 I think that unless we really hit form over the rest of the season that any chance of hitting a playoff spot must have disappeared over the horizon and a mid-table position is the best we can look at. Yes, we beat Guernsey away and even beat Met Police before the trip to Ashford and then Basingstoke but this “One step forward, two steps back” is wearing a bit thin now. Disappointing when we know we have such great talent playing for us. The football Gods seem to have it in for us again. By the way…. Basingstoke lost at home to Chertsey 5-1 and at the time of writing this we are 13th in the league and just two points ahead of the relegation positions. I’m getting quite concerned about things seeing as how we sleepwalked into our last relegation. The club prides itself on the progression for young players but does anyone really think that scouts or representatives from further up the footballing pyramid are going to come to watch us in the Combined Counties where the crowds are under 60 in most cases or walk through a dark cemetery and along a frankly dangerous looking path to watch us play AFC Croydon in our “Big” derby game or walk along the busy A3 to watch us play Colliers Wood. 

 Most of the people I know and have contact with over at Toots like myself remain positive that we can and will turn things around…. But there are dark clouds looming. 
 Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!! 

 One good thing about my day out in Basingstoke was bumping into Megan on the way home who is one of the coaches from St Matthews Project. Always good to chat with people who help over at SMP. We have a number of links and friendships with the people there. Please visit: 

There is also a Youtube channel showing the work they do. Check out these links for a couple of short films on what they get up to: 

Spread the word please, so much negative press about young people especially in South London and yet there are so many people making a huge difference who never get mentioned. 
 As always, a big thanks to Jimmy and everyone over at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting for all their support. They have done so much to bring people together and get them down to Tooting games over the last few years. 

 Last but not least, if you think that I’m the only highbrow footballing pundit over at Tooting and Mitcham then you’re in for a shock !!!! Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff all written by intelligent sensible people, not the rantings of a mad old bloke in Hackbridge.

Up The Terrors !!!!!