Tuesday, January 4, 2022

The Joy of Football - Part 38

Hope you all had a groovy Christmas and are looking forward to a fantastic 2022 both on and off the pitch…. And that Dear Reader is about as happy and cheerful as this blog gets….
 Now for the Hanwell game and where to begin is a tough one. A bad game in which we didn’t seem to trouble their goalie at all. Very sad to hear booing at the end. Many of these players are very young and looked totally crushed when they came up to the fans that stayed behind after hearing the jeers. But the fans pay good money to watch the team. Their weekends can be ruined by bad results just as much as the players and coaches. They have a right to be upset and to question what has happened this season. It upset me to hear the jeers and it upset me to see the players faces, but it also upset me to see the faces of many of our fans as they headed home or to the bar for the after-match discussion. 
 Sky TV are still filming over at Fortress Imperial. I’m sure when they first come into film the team and academy, things were buzzing after the progression of a number of players though the footballing pyramid and the London Senior Cup win. It would have been great to get more media exposure and help raise the profile of the club. At the moment, hopefully they will have lots of positive footage from behind the scenes as there has been very little to look forward to if the match day footage gets shown. It’s bad enough seeing the team lose but to know that it’s being filmed for all to see is sickening. A couple of people involved in the footballing side of things have said that having Sky walking around filming has been a distraction that the players and coaches do not need. It’s also obvious that the Bog End faithful are not happy with the cameras at games. I for one do not blame them. 
Non-League football has become more and more popular, Sky will know that. The chance to stick their nose into a number of places will be too much for them to turn away on their hunt for viewing figures and the chance to fuck up yet another sport…. Bear that in mind if in 5 years’ time our away game with Chipstead is on Pay to View on Thursday night at 9pm. 

 There are splits growing in the ranks of our supporters. The various reasons would fill a blog in on their own, one I may well do. Different groups with different views on how things could or should be done. All of their views valid and worth listening to even if they are not the views you want to hear or agree with. I like to think that I know most of the people who come to see Toots and have heard various views on how the clubs has gone wrong and what the club is doing right. Covid has caused the cancellation of a meet the people who run the club night. A new date needs to be looked into and if possible and able to be done safely as I know a lot of people are concerned about the direction the club is going. Some kind of clear the air meeting should be done to at least try and heal some of the bad feeling at Toots.

 Kingstonian will be ground sharing at Fortress Imperial next season it has been announced. Strange move for them as they were over at Corinthian Casuals and at least were playing games in the Kingston Area. An awkward journey for many of their fans and one that many seem unhappy with. This is meant to be for a couple of years / seasons until they are able to go back to the Kingston. As for Tooting Bec and the various teams they have set up, I should imagine there will be major changes for them. What this will mean for all three clubs remains to be seen but I’m fully expecting various weird and wonderful conspiracy theories.

 Let’s face some facts here. TMUFC have lost two years’ worth of income including gate money due to Covid so in all honesty extra gate money coming in will help out any short falls that have happened over the last couple of seasons. I work in the facilities industry. This involves looking after and managing budgets, invoices and bills. We need to face facts that to run Imperial Fields is very costly. The Electric, gas and water utilities have to be paid. Insurance and rates. The upkeep of the ground and pitches. Ironically the Sky sports subscription to show games in the bar, not forgetting the wages of the staff etc. Plus, the added cost of finding funds for the playing budget all needs to be found. 

I get on with both Steve and Jackie and have no axe to grind or hidden agenda against them or the way the club is run as a business etc. But I believe that supporters should be given some idea of the costs of the day to day running of TMUFC. I'm not suggesting anything untoward, but how was the money collected on the Crowd Funder page put to use at Imperial Fields. A lot of people put money into this and would like a rundown of what the money went towards I would ask for more information from the club and the Members club, who I believe own 10% of Imperial Fields on what goes on behind the scenes and what goes on in general. The social media side has much improved in the last few years, but supporters need more updates. The rumour mill often goes into overdrive when announcement are made. Two and Two becomes Five as people try and find out what is happening. For a start some of the conspiracy theories that often spring up could be put to bed early instead of growing and growing. A lot of the good work that the club does with the local community and local business either goes unnoticed or is not explained allowing Roswell/ JFK type conspiracies to spring up. Recently, the club has had to find a lot of money to upgrade the ground after recommendations and regulations that have come into force since the terrible fire at Grenfell. Plus, the work done on the pitch. Yet this is not common knowledge. If more people knew this, they may well become more understanding when it comes to the costs of running the place. Bills have to be paid and staff have to be paid. My job possibly may give me a better idea of costs and budgets. Not everyone has the same experience. We don't need to know everything and see every single invoice but an idea of what is going on behind the scenes could help people understand more. Might even help stop more of the negative stuff that goes up on various platforms. 

 At this moment in time many people do not know what the Members Club do or their role in the club and what stake they have in the set up at Imperial Fields. There is very little communication between the Directors of the Members Club and the other supporters when it comes to these matters. Directors sit in the stand and are not seen or visible before and after games. It has been good to see Chris Woolley walking around and chatting at resent home games, it would be good to see a bit more of that in future. In short and maybe unfairly, many fans do not know who the Directors of the Club are and what the Members Club do. There needs to be more open dialog between the Members Club and the supporters when it comes to their part in the running of the club and financial matters. Supporters need to be informed of what the Members Club are asked / expected to contribute to the Team / playing budget each season. What other costs the Members Club may also be responsible for during the year. Without this information people do not know where their money is going or what it is being spent on. A regular newsletter given out on match days or regular articles in the programme could go a long way to heal the "Them and Us" feeling that some supporters have in regard to the Members Club. The club over the years lost a number of supporters who were willing to help out but became disillusioned with things at TMUFC. Last of information and bad communication often playing a part in this. 
Christ, how depressing was that…. It must be bad enough having read it if you managed to get this far. Believe me it was hard enough writing the thing. I’ll be there Saturday and I’ll be cheering the team on. None of us are enjoying this. Not the players, fans, coaches, owners or staff. Try to stay positive and cut others some slack if you don’t agree with them. We are stronger together than we are when split up into various factions. 

 Up The Terrors !!!!!

Sunday, December 26, 2021

Hackbridge Wonderland

Mention Westfield to most people they will think of the large shopping centres in and around London which, in turn make me dream of  "Dawn of the dead" type of days out. Well getting eaten alive by Zombies would have been preferable to witnessing  two of the worst Tooting performances that I have been "lucky" enough to witness over the last couple of years at Westfield ground in Woking.

         Merry Christmas Oiks

As Toots enter the Christmas holiday fixtures needing points, playing Westfield could either be the test the team needed to help kick start the season again or the chance for me to start the holiday period  looking at my online credit card statement while crying and praying for a Zombie apocalypse to put an end to this season sooner rather than later. 

A one nil victory in a game that will not live in the memory of those who turned their backs on Christmas shopping in Croydon for a Saturday afternoon in the freezing cold. Still, three points and I left Fortress Imperial feeling rather pleased which is more than could be said for Westfields twitter account writer who after moaning constatly about time wasting from TMUFC was trolled by various Terrors all though Saturday night. I've watched loads of clubs do it to us and it made me rather happy to do it back to someone at long last... But my happiness was short lived.

Like many, I work very long hours in a badly paid job. This means I miss the vast majority of mid-week away games. Every now and again I thank fuck for long hours as I missed the trip to Staines for what would turn out to be another "disappointing" result against a team which somehow was having up until then, a worse season than we are. I'm told by those in the know that we have so far played over 45 different players in our attempt to find our best match day squad. Even if this is down to the ongoing pandemic or injuries, we are strugling on the pitch to get things right. Not good is it.

There are some large splits in the ranks between fans and supporters about the direction the club is going. The club of "Progression" is not progressing that well. It's hard to sit on the fence when it is obvious to everyone that on the pitch things are going badly. I have accepted the fact that the best we can hope for is a mid table position in the league, there is still hope for a good cup run as we are still in a few trophies, but this season has been dreadful league wise. 

Yet again just to add to the joy, all other local teams all seem to be doing well but never the less we are still gettings loads of new faces in the stands and terraces at Toots, many now becoming regulars. Maybe there is some kind of masochistic sex cult in the area which involves regular bouts of pain and humiliation.

"Right, you dirty little pig. After you've finished the lawn, you can clean the toilet with your toothbursh and then go and watch Tooting and Mitcham"

So after Santa emptied his sack over the carpet at Hackbridge Towers there was the small matter of our away game with Sutton Common Rovers. Worth bearing in mind we would regularly play their Landlords Sutton United in games not so long ago. Now at the time of writing they sit in the play off positions in League two while we have Chipstead as our big local rivals or Sutton Common Rovers.... But..... The dreaded Bug struck again which meant no Christmas fixtures this year. On the plus it meant Christmas wasn't ruined by by another "Disappointing" result.

Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!!! 

Thanks and a Merry Christmas and fantastic New Year to Jimmy and everyone at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting and thanks for their help and support over the last 12 months

St Matthews Project are still doing great community work and putting on various events over the Christmas period. A fantastic group of people. Great to chat with a couple of people from there at the Westfield game.
Please go and visit: 
https://thesmp.net/ 
And show them the support they deserve.

If you need a bit more intelligence with your reading material than this. Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff than this rubbish I come out with  https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/ 

Last but not least, all the hard people over at Tooting and Mitcham who help out on match days and in many cases all though the week at Fortress Imperial. Thanks to all of you xxx


Christmas in Hackbridge Towers is always a happy occasion. We all sit around the table while I play the harmonica and Ant sings Christmas Carols with lyrics changed to mention how shit Dulwich are. Mrs H was really happy with her black designer "Sports Direct" bag which is the equivalent of a   Louis Vuitton handbag to the locals in Sutton, you can guess how envious the local ladies will be when we next visit the Asda. I've told her not to take it to the Asda on Beddington Lane though as she might well get mugged.

Bog end Ant has his £400 Stone Island underpants to wear on match days and I got a tube of Pringles. Hope Christmas was full of peace and love where ever you are.... 

Up The Terrors !!!!!

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

Heart Of Darkness

The Joseph Conrad story "Heart of Darkness" tells the tale of Charles Marlow, a sailor who takes on an assignment from a Belgian trading company as a ferry-boat captain in the African interior. This dark book is one I have read a number of times and would go as far to say it is one of my favourite books. It provided the inspiration for Francis Ford Coppola's epic 1979 film Apocalypse Now. A dark tale telling how normal men can turn into inhuman beasts, capable of committing the most dreadful of crimes. A story I can relate to after my trip back from Barking a couple of seasons ago.
 "You too can own this special commemorative 50 pence coin celebrating Tooting and Mitcham United's 2020 London Senior Cup Final victory over AFC Wimbledon for the special price of £79.99. These coins are a limited edition and will be highly sort after".

 Talking about bloody Marlow…… Yes, Dear reader, yet another defeat this time 2-1 at Fortress Imperial. Swap the mighty Congo or the Mekong Delta for the River Wandle and Steve Carpenter for Kurtz and you could do a sequel. The Police Helicopters that regularly fly over the Budge Lane estate could play Wagner out of loudspeakers as they hunt out signs of angry locals and burnt-out mopeds. 
 As for the game… You know what I’m going to say don’t you… Well, we should have got at least a point from this game but as per usual ended up with nothing to show for the hard work on the pitch. So, with that in mind, the last thing we really needed was a Tuesday night game against high flying Chertsey and guess what… You know what I’m going to say don’t you… Yes, Dear reader, another defeat this time 2-1 at Fortress Imperial. Well, we should have got at least a point from this game but as per usual ended up with nothing to show for the hard work on the pitch…… Oh for Fuck Sake. I could cut and paste my last few blogs and they would all look relevant. 
 We can go on and on about bad luck, I can mention the footballing gods having it in for us. We can all say how well we played and fought back, but the truth is, our defence can't defend, and our attack can't find the back of the net. I believe we are now on our fifth goalie so far in the season. The vast majority of goals conceded seem to be though defensive mistakes or bad communication at the back. I felt really down after the game against Chertsey, times like this I hate football. 

Those sexy chaps at South London Is Black and White set up a “Twitter Space” get together which gave us / me a chance to get things off our / my chest which was for me personally a good thing. 
 Visit: https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com 
And follow them on Twitter: @TaM_BaW 

 I’m sure they will be running so more counselling sessions in the future for us Terrors. Hope so. Spoke to Bog End Ant about doing one ourselves so watch this space.
"Right, just enough time for a quick wank before I log onto The Bog End forum"


 And then dear reader some joy. Just ignore my last couple of paragraphs of misrable bollocks... Sittingbourne beaten in the League Cup thingy trophy followed by back-to-back wins in the league against Chalfont and away to (Margaret) Thatcham. Neither games could be classed as being great matches, but I enjoyed them both immensely. We won ugly and against Thatcham even kept a clean sheet. Hurrah !!!! A good day out past Reading and hopefully next time we play them it will be on a nicer day weather wise. A good place to spend a Saturday afternoon. The locals were rather cruel about the dress sense of one of our fan’s choice of wet weather clothing, but we had the last laugh on the pitch. Of course, then we go and lose away to Binfield 1-0 after giving away a goal early on and we are back where we started. One step forward, two steps back. This season, Two clubs go straight down and third from bottom end up in some kind of playoff game with whoever finishes third in the division below. Not a game you would want to have at the end of the season. We are too good to go down. We have too many talented players to go down. Our management and coaches are too good to get relegated…. But it doesn’t matter. We can all name a team at some level on the Footballing pyramid who were “Too Good to Go Down” but did anyway. 
 A mid table finish seems very likely, but a couple more bad results could drag us back into the mix. A number of new players have come in and I feel a lot more optimistic than I did after the Chertsey game but obviously we need some more wins under our belts moving forward. 


 A shame to see Daryl Coleman leave. A great leader and fans favourite, I wish him the best wherever he goes. One of the worst things about football and no matter who you support is when popular players leave and go elsewhere. This happens a lot at our level and can happen for all manner of reasons. One good thing about our support is that we are always welcoming to our ex-players and generally always give out a warm welcome when paths cross. So, a lot to think about for the rest of the season. Will we turn things around, will we get hit with another lock down and will Jon Simpson ever wear that yellow jacket again? Only time will tell Dear Reader…. 

Her: He's thinking about other women.
Him: What coat shall I wear to Thatcham away next season.

 Up The Terrors !!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

One Minute

I’m back Dear Reader for more tales of the joy of following Tooting and Mitcham from my luxury office here in Hackbridge Towers. As I gaze out of my window and look over at the wonderful Beddington Sewage Works which looks over the local inhabitants like a grand medieval castle, my thoughts turn to football as I try to forget the raw shit that was pumped into the River Wandle a couple of weeks ago. 
"My Dear Ratty, It's not smelt like this since Dulwich ground shared"

 I’ll gloss over the victory against Guernsey as I was not there, but I was jolly happy seeing the result. Also, the victory over Met Police in the Surrey Senior Cup which I think was the first time I’ve seen us beat them. A crowd over 80 at Fortress Imperial was bigger than what we would normally expect in the early rounds of that competition. The crowd including the mass ranks of Stone Island wearing Daily Mail and Express readers who follow Met Police over Land and Sea…. 
Next up an away fixture over at Ashford, but both me and Bog End Ant thought we’d give that a swerve and go and watch our near neighbours AFC Croydon play Fleet town where we happily paid our money and joined the fun and games at the back of the cemetery. Croydon in their previous life were used to getting big crowds but only around 50 turned up for this fixture including a few from Fleet. AFC Croydon started the game by doing a “Tooting” which means they went 1-0 down in less than a minute, possibly around the 15 second mark…. I thought it would be amusing and make a funny little tweet about them out doing anything that Tooting and Mitcham had done so far this season by giving a goal away in under a minute. So, you can imagine how I laughed when finding out by the time I’d written and then posted my humorous tweet at the expensive of AFC Croydon that Toots had gone 1-0 down away at Ashford in under two minutes. Mr Fucking Chuckles strikes again. 
With that in mind you can also guess the size of my grin when visiting Basingstoke, a week later Tooting managed to go 1-0 down in under a minute yet again. Christ knows what the managers and coaches must say to the team before kick-off or what the players say to each other doing the pre match huddle… My money is on “Let’s make Harry cry”. 

 We played well at Basingstoke losing 3-2 to a dodgy penalty which came seconds after Billy Brown was brought down for what all the travelling Terrors in the 653-crowd thought was a free kick, but to be chasing the game after the first minute again puts far too much pressure on the team. We should have left with a point but didn’t and that has been the story of this season so far. For any lovers of Drum and Bass I suggest heading over to Basingstoke on match days to join in with the two D&B throbbers who stood behind the goal and keep the crowd “entertained” throughout the game. No wonder so many of the locals seemed pill’ed up and off their heads. But credit where credit is due having a song about us sounding like Janet Street Porter was pretty funny. 
"Next time I go to fucking Basingstoke, I'll ram a drumstick up his ring piece"

 I think that unless we really hit form over the rest of the season that any chance of hitting a playoff spot must have disappeared over the horizon and a mid-table position is the best we can look at. Yes, we beat Guernsey away and even beat Met Police before the trip to Ashford and then Basingstoke but this “One step forward, two steps back” is wearing a bit thin now. Disappointing when we know we have such great talent playing for us. The football Gods seem to have it in for us again. By the way…. Basingstoke lost at home to Chertsey 5-1 and at the time of writing this we are 13th in the league and just two points ahead of the relegation positions. I’m getting quite concerned about things seeing as how we sleepwalked into our last relegation. The club prides itself on the progression for young players but does anyone really think that scouts or representatives from further up the footballing pyramid are going to come to watch us in the Combined Counties where the crowds are under 60 in most cases or walk through a dark cemetery and along a frankly dangerous looking path to watch us play AFC Croydon in our “Big” derby game or walk along the busy A3 to watch us play Colliers Wood. 

 Most of the people I know and have contact with over at Toots like myself remain positive that we can and will turn things around…. But there are dark clouds looming. 
 Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!! 

 One good thing about my day out in Basingstoke was bumping into Megan on the way home who is one of the coaches from St Matthews Project. Always good to chat with people who help over at SMP. We have a number of links and friendships with the people there. Please visit: https://thesmp.net 

There is also a Youtube channel showing the work they do. Check out these links for a couple of short films on what they get up to: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCwQmu_sGrc 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNR8YR1Gx4I 

Spread the word please, so much negative press about young people especially in South London and yet there are so many people making a huge difference who never get mentioned. 
 As always, a big thanks to Jimmy and everyone over at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting for all their support. They have done so much to bring people together and get them down to Tooting games over the last few years. 

 Last but not least, if you think that I’m the only highbrow footballing pundit over at Tooting and Mitcham then you’re in for a shock !!!! Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff all written by intelligent sensible people, not the rantings of a mad old bloke in Hackbridge. https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com

Up The Terrors !!!!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Disappointing - Tooting Squid Game

Well, if you thought the last couple of blogs started on a low note this will not do your nerves any good whatsoever. 

As some of you know Sky TV are currently filming at Toots for what only could be described as a “Video Nasty” as they go behind the scenes getting footage from various people and places. They must have over 10 hours of film of Bog Enders shouting “For Fuck Sake” at the top of their voices and looking despondently into the air during our home games. In fact, the documentary should be called “For Fucks Sake, It’s Tooting and Mitcham” and have Harry Hill or John Bishop doing comedy commentaries. Or Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett could do an episode of "Rob & Romesh Vs...” and get them to play Tooting and Mitcham in a penalty shootout. Anyway, Sky have now started filming away matches and were at South Park which to the great delight of their players, officials and supporters ended with Toots getting beaten 2-0. South Parks social media full of the fact that Sky were at the game and that they won. Who can really blame them? One plus point I wasn’t there…. And that’s about all I can add on the matter. 
In all truth this season has started dreadfully, to have Sky there filming it all, is the icing on the very large cake. So, with all this in mind I find myself heading over to the Wild West to top of the table Uxbridge FC with a sense of foreboding hanging over me. The official club Facebook and Twitter accounts later described the game as "Disappointing". To be 2-0 up after a very good first 45 minutes and to be in complete control of a game but to then surrender the with 3 dreadful defensive mistakes is a bit more than "Disappointing". Straight from the kick-off for the second half we looked all over the place as Uxbridge set out to salvage something from the game. Toots should have set out to defend straight from the restart. It would be interesting to see how many goals we have conceded in the first 5 minutes of games or in the first few minutes of the start of the second half. Since I've been watch Tooting and under all of the various coaching and managing set up’s we have always had problems switching on straight from the kick-off. This has cost us dearly over the years. Add in the number of red cards shown and you could have a very interesting spreadsheet to try and make any sense of. Take it from me, the small but very noisy group of travelling Terrors making the journey to yet another West London industrial estate to see Toots take on the league leaders left the ground feeling a little bit more than disappointed. And yet again, Sky had been there to film it all........... 
Now on Sky Sports its "For Fuck Sake, It's Tooting and Mitcham".


 It's all very well bringing more attacking options into the squad, but our defence is all over the place. We need to bring players in who can defend dead ball situations. A couple of big, experienced lumps in other words. Players who know how to hold onto a lead. I’m afraid, you’re not going to find these players in the ranks of the youth set ups. Unless this slump is turned around quickly then we will be in a relegation dog fight. This is not some melodramatic over the top comment made by a very angry blog writer on a Saturday night after yet another game when the team grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory. It is the truth. I can't see us making the play offs at the moment and winning the title is only going to happen if the teams above us have some kind of epic biblical collapse, or as TMUFC say a "Disappointing" set of results in the next few weeks. It's no use pinning all hopes on Academy and youth players and looking for the "Next Antonio" if we are in the Combined Counties playing in front of crowds of under 50. The Tooting support at Uxbridge was less than I would have expected, already some regulars are staying away from away matches. I have a real worry that the good crowds at home games will drop if results don't improve. At this moment anyone living locally in South West London or Surrey with no ties or commitments to any team and just looking for a footballing fix have quite a few other options than watching us lose on a cold and wet Saturday as Winter approaches. 

 I along with plenty of others watched Frank Wilson's team play some good football at times and still go down. This season so far, feels very similar to that. Last but not least, I'll make one thing plain. I want Ash and Cornelius to succeed, I want the club to succeed. I'm not asking for changes in the coaching staff. I want this club, our club to move onwards and upwards. 

On reflection, I can’t knock the effort the team put in against Uxbridge or Bracknell and I’m told they played well at South Park. But the defence needs looking at sooner rather than later. 

Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!!! 
Thanks as always to Jimmy and everyone over at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting for all their help and support...

Talking about great people, St Matthews Project are still doing great community work and putting on various events over the Half Term holidays.  Hope to see them soon over at Tooting Please go and visit: 
https://thesmp.net/ 
And show them the support they deserve.


If you need a bit more intelligence with your reading material than this. Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff than this rubbish I come out with  https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/ 
I'm lead to believe we are up against each other in some Non League blog thingy.... Vote for them if you get the chance.... Far better than depressing bollocks x

 Up The Terrors !!!!

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

There's only one Harry...

Some things never change.... Summer turns to Autumn, tide’s ebb and flow, the moon rises and the sun sets.... Tooting and Mitcham go one nil down in the first five minutes and miss penalties... Mother Nature can be very cruel.
                  The Thinker

 It's quite mind blowing following the Mighty Toots. Brilliant one week, crap the next. I had high hopes for this season but it's looking as if we will need a huge change of fortune to get anything from this. The Footballing Gods have a cruel sense of humour. You never really know what will happen on a match day. I should imagine that neutrals must love coming along to our games as they are often eventful, even when the results go against us, it's worth watching. 
Since I last put pen to paper, or more truthfully fingered my keyboard, The Terrors lost to Thatcham, Drew with Sutton Common Rovers and beat Chipstead, but I'll skip past those a go straight to Northwood at home and the chance to get things moving again after rather a long break from league games which led myself and Ant heading to the South Coast to watch Seaford Town and a shorter trips to Raynes Park Vale and Colliers Wood for our Saturday Football fix. I can't lie, watching games where I don't really care of the outcome is quite liberating and it's nice to know the result won’t ruin your Saturday night or even the whole weekend. 
"Today, I'm meeting Footballs hardest ground hoppers"

 So, at last I found myself back at the home of football for the visit of Northwood for the first Saturday league game in a while. I miss the first part of the home games because of sorting out and working in the club shop so I missed the first 20mins, but we went in at half time 3-2 up. Four goals in the second half at least giving me something to cheer. Got to be honest now, scoring seven goals is great but letting in three goals and seeing as Northwood also hit the post and missed a couple of sitters is worrying to say the least. 
Next up Whitehawk in the FA Trophy which we ballsed up quite spectacularly losing 4-1 at home and even managed to miss yet another fucking penalty which if it had gone in could have made a huge difference as we could have gone on to salvage something from the game.... or we would have just lost 4-2. Mind you they missed a penalty as well. Either way Toots need to sort out this penalty jinx as even the most ardent Bog Enders just shrug their shoulders when we get a spot kick now and look at each other with a knowing look in their eyes.
Can’t really say we played that badly, but finishing was a again our main problem. A couple of good saves from the Whitehawk goalie stopping any chance of us getting back into the game. 
So, no trips to Wembley this season. Out of both the FA Cup and Trophy at the first hurdle which is a big blow financially to the club and at a time where every club is having to try and get more money to help the running of things means a bit of a disaster over at Fortress Imperial. 
The league is still the main priority and it's important for the club to get out of the division we find ourselves in, so anything less than making the play offs will not go down well. Promotion means bigger gates as there are more travelling away fans in the top Isthmian Division as well as the chance to play more of our historical rivals. Glad to say that our defence of the London Senior Cup started well with a 4-1 victory over Redbridge. It's a competition I think we all regard with a great deal of fondness. Another good run in this please.... 
 So last one of the hattrick of home games saw the visit of Bracknell Town in what I was hoping to be a top of the table clash when the fixtures first came out. Our visitors winning one nil with a first half goal. The Terrors played well and should have come away with at least a point, but Bracknell defence worked well as a unit and were able to deal with everything we threw at them during the second half. Well, we didn’t concede after two minutes or miss any penalties. But we need a change of fortunes as the top five clubs are pulling away from the others leaving us in the mid table positions. A good performance yes but no points to show for the hard work. 

Even with all the gloom and doom, crowds are still healthy and going up. Loads of new faces coming to home games and becoming regulars. A crowd of over 260 for the Bracknell game. There's lots going on at TMUFC and if you can help out on match days please do. Even if you have Twitter, Facebook or any of the other social media platforms please follow other Terrors and the Official Accounts and help spread the word on fixtures and up and coming events. Just a couple of seconds on a smart phone or PC can do so much to help both the Club and supporters’ groups etc. 

 Before the Northwood game Some chap came up to me at the shop and asked if I was "Harry" Of course, I thought he was meaning Hackbridge Harry, thinking he must follow and be a huge fan my in-depth football punditry and match analysis on Twitter... Mr Chuckles was in fact taking the piss and meant that I looked like Harry Kane. How I laughed. I look more like Brad Pitt as everyone who knows me will back up. I've never been so insulted and even that big poo pants Totts at Sutton has never stooped that low.... Talking of which the way Sutton are taking points off everyone in League Two there is a chance of them having a very successful season. Just think in about four years’ time they could be playing Champions League games at Gangrene Lane while we’re missing penalties in our big derby game with Chipstead after going one nil down in the second minute…. I hate football.
Tooting and Mitcham 1 Whitehawk 4

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

The Joy and Happiness of Football. (Part 87)

Hello Dearest Reader. It’s me again with more tales of joy and happiness, mixed in with the normal doom and gloom. More doom and gloom in truth in this one....
            Sorrow in his eyes

 Well the season has stated at last and now we can get on with the real good stuff and proper football. Fingers crossed we will all get to finish this season. 
As with last season, the mighty
Toots started their season with the FA Cup. 
 The magic of the cup, the old footballing cliché that comes back to haunt us all in our search for footballing nirvana and the chance of a trip to Wembley to watch our Black and White stripes defeat one of the evil Premiership Giants. 
I know the clubs at Tooting’s level have to win about 47 games to even get a sniff of some giant killing but there’s always hope. So, with this in mind, off we all went to Fortress Imperial to watch us take on South East London team Erith and Belvedere FC in the FA Cup. They come from the same part of the world that Fisher came from who beat us in last season’s competition… So, what could possibly go wrong. 

 Well quite a lot as it goes. 1-0 down in the first half We only seemed to get going in the second. Finally hitting the back of the net from a penalty to make the score 1-1. A good goalkeeping performance and a couple of shots hitting the woodwork keeping us from winning. 
But the cup dream was over on Wednesday night as we lost the replay 3-1 in extra time and again another penalty miss when the score was 1-1 with 12 minutes left to play. Once it came up on social media, we’d missed from the spot again I knew what was coming. 
 Pretty upset about this. The FA Cup is a chance to dream and a chance to maybe get a draw against one of our rivals or another further up the footballing pyramid. 
As I have said before we are in a league with no geographical or historical rivalry and the cup competitions are the only way to meet up with old friends and foes. To go out of the FA Cup so early now two seasons in a row to clubs we should really beat is a bit of a pisser. The Fisher game still gives me sleepless nights. Well beaten on the day by a team we should have done a lot better against. Fisher seemed well up for their game a bought a loud vocal following and well deserved their victory. I’m sorry, Erith and Belvedere FC were nothing special at Fortress Imperial and should have been put to bed at our place. 

TMUFC are a big scalp to take for many clubs, our history, stadium and fans make us arguably one of the biggest clubs at our level and in our league. I sometimes wonder if the club take clubs below us seriously enough and realise how much other clubs want to beat us. Another footballing cliché is the comment “It was their cup final” when clubs play against so called smaller clubs…. Every game should be a Cup Final if we want to seriously get out of this league and onto the next level no matter who we play. I honestly believe we would have made the play offs in both of the cancelled seasons and would go as far to say we might well have won it outright last season, but it was not too be. This is a huge season for us, let’s hope those Footballing Gods smile on us in the coming weeks.
              Woking Bound

 Anyway, enough of this miserable bollocks this early in the season. What better place to get over the disappointment than a trip to Woking for our first league game of the season against Westfield FC. A chance to visit the lovely home of the best Pizza Express going so I’m told by those “in the know”. 

 I once won a bottle of Jamaican Rum in their club raffle which turned out to be two years out of date according to the sell by date. Well worth the price of the ticket. Also we lost that game after a dreadful preformance, so what could possibly go wrong. Well, It’s fair to say that the day did not go as planned, if fact anything but. Millwall Will called it “A bad day at the office” which is a pretty good cliché and one that sums up the afternoon’s events perfectly. To start with, we had most of the ball without really causing them any problems right up to when Westfield scored their first goal and we were still in with a shout up until we gave the ball away in first half injury time with an inch perfect cross field pass to one of their bemused players which lead to the second goal. 
You could tell we were in shock after that and really didn’t create anything of note in the second half. Westfield scoring a third which put a full stop on things. Can’t hide the fact that this was awful. The after-match post-mortem in the bar was not good listening. A lot of Terrors had made the short journey down to Woking and I doubt if any would have had anything good to say at the final whistle. As I, Ant and Millwall Will headed through the park back towards the station we could still hear Tooting’s finest and Anthony’s role models serenading the locals with songs which had more to do with Fulham’s win than anything the mighty stripes had come up with. 

Oh well….. On a positive note we are only three points off the play off places and now have a bit of time to get things sorted out now we don’t have the FA Cup to worry about this coming Saturday. I’m concerned, but not quite as much as Prince Andrew must be after reading the morning papers over the last few days. At least he had fun in Woking.

"We went to Westfield.....By      mistake 


Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!!! 
Thanks as always to Jimmy and everyone over at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting for all their support. Jimmy sponsored the Erith game and has done so much to bring people together and get them down to games over the last few years….

Talking about great people, St Matthews Project are still doing great community work and putting on various events over the Summer holidays. Hope to see them soon over at Tooting Please go and visit: 
https://thesmp.net/ 


If you need a bit more intelligence with your reading material than this. Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff than this rubbish I come out with  https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/ 

 Finally, guess what….. 

There is a nice little brewery opened up on the Willow Lane estate. Drop Project Brewing Co. A couple of the Irish Lot went in to visit after the Erith game and I went to have a nose around the day after to stock up on supplies.
 The Drop Project Brewing Company Ltd Unit 8 Willow Business Centre 17 Willow Lane Mitcham CR4 4NX Walk-ins only. Dog Friendly. Under 18 curfew from 7pm. Disabled access and facilities. The main pedestrian gate to our estate is unlocked during the below opening hours. Opening Hours Friday 3-10pm Saturday 12-10pm Sunday 12-6pm 

https://www.drop-project.co.uk/ 

 Right, I’m off to sniff glue and listen to The Ramones…. Up The Terrors!!!!!!