Monday, July 12, 2021

Not coming home.....

Hurrah, Dear Reader. More words of wisdom from Hackbridge Towers as the pre-season friendlies start up again. We will also delve into the magical world of the Euros which I've quite enjoyed this year. Footballs coming home!!!!!!! 
Pre Season starts at Corinthian Casuals

 First up, a friendly on the back pitch was against our tenants Tooting Bec who I must say are really looking better and better and do seem as if they will have yet another good season. An entertaining 0-0 draw which possibly was a fair result as both teams missed good chances and both hit the woodwork on several occasions. I must admit that I spend most of my time at the Pre-season games chatting and gossiping so don't look to me for in-depth views on formations or new players or signing etc (As if you ever did). I just enjoyed the day in the sun. Good to see a few of the others at the game including Mad Ciaran who informed me that he is thinking of moving to Hackbridge and wanted to know the important things about the area like how much is an Uber to and from the Ramble Inn. If he does move to the area it may well put back any ideas of gentrification by around 15 years and have a significant effect on house prices meaning you will be able to pick up a 3 bed house with a garage for about 250 quid... I must add how smart he looked in his bright yellow Ukrainian football shirt which he proudly wore and which I'm sure will get him a bit of cash back from Ebay in a week or so.

 Talking of which.... Watched the England - Ukraine game in the bar after the Bec match... A good crowd in the bar singing and yelling their heads of as England defied the odds by 

A/ Playing well 
B/ Winning comfortably. 

When it comes to International football I often tell people I have enough Scots and Irish blood not to really care about England and enough English blood not to care about either the Scots or Irish, but I must admit my Anglo Saxon side was very happy after the game which may have had a lot to do with Gareth Southgate’s team selection and a very good England performance.... Or the large amount of Guinness I drank.... Either way a good night out. 

Toots second Pre-Season game was away to Three Bridges on the following Tuesday and ended up a 1-0 defeat on the same night Italy beat Spain to get to the Final on penalties. Of course, to mark the occasion, Toots missed a last-minute penalty and now this run of bad luck, or to be honest, badly taken penalties carries on which is a bit of a worry to us sensitive types on the Bog End. 

I was back to Fortress Imperial on the Wednesday Night to watch the England v Denmark game. Another great night surrounded by rather loud people. What can I say, England proving everyone wrong and getting through to the Final. Since taking on the teachings of Karl Marx and upsetting the Daily Mail the whole England set up has really done well now get ready for Italy in the Final on Sunday. Ant got in early and helped arranged a table so I've no doubt that Sunday night might involve Guinness and singing. 

But before that is the important matter of another Pre-Season game against Frank Wilson's Merstham side, again on the back 3G pitch. A good run out for the team and a 3-1 victory. Yet again I spent most of the match gossiping and chatting to whoever was unlucky enough to stand next to me. I'm looking forward to the start of the season as I think we have a good chance of doing well. Covid took away our chances of making the play offs over the last two seasons. Fingers crossed it will be different this year. 

Did you know England won the World Cup in 1966? Most people don't know this little-known fact as it never ever gets mentioned at all and with this in mind I set off to the bar at Fortress Imperial to watch Gareth’s Groovy Gang take on Italy in the Euro Final to watch Football coming home (Spoiler Alert). It didn't. A fantastic start from England which gave everyone the hope that England may do it was crushed in the 2nd half as Italy equalised and I think deep down we all knew the outcome. Yet another penalty shootout fuck up as Rashford hop, skipped, jumped, farted and passed the ball to the Italian goalie instead of just smashing the fucking thing was the start of the doom and gloom. I feel dreadfully sorry for the young lads who missed who then predictably suffered online abuse from the total bellends that seem to hide behind their phones and computers during England games. Lots of positives from England and it was great to see various communities getting behind the team and coaching staff but still heart breaking yet again to see the trouble afterwards and over the top drunken behaviour which is often the reason why so many other countries love it when England lose. Fucking embarrassing.... I’m feeling really quite down in the dumps as I write this, but at least, I haven’t woken up knowing there’s a photo of me with a smoke bomb sticking out of my bumhole and that I didn’t end up taking off my clothes on Wembley Way while off my face on various nasally ingested chemicals.
“Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country,” 

 Anyway, from the Banks of the Mighty Wandle there seems to be a lot of building work going on over at Sutton United's Gangrene Lane ground and the world famous "Shoe Box Terrace" has now been demolished which is a shame. As pointed out by Bog End Regular Mr Chops at least when the Shoe Box was in place all the weirdos used to be together in a small area and therefore easy to keep control of by the clever use of stewarding and cattle prods. Now they will be free to walk around and mix with normal supporters which I bet is one drawback their promotion into the Football League. Still all the work has allowed @bornatotter the chance to work around the ground in a High Vis jacket and a white hard hat / builders helmet looking like one of the Village People. 

Also, got to feel for Peter Crouch a once famous international footballer now so down on his luck he's forced to join the board at Dulwich Hamlet and make TV Documentaries about the club to try and earn enough cash to feed his growing family. With the Euros going on and the Country getting behind the Three Lions, it’s really sad to see an Ex England International footballer hit the depths of despair after the end of his career. I can only hope that things get better for him sooner rather than later and that one day he can hold his head up high again.

Another thing I did learn over the past couple of weeks is that having a photo taken with a crying child can get you a lot of money, if only I'd started doing that a couple of seasons ago with Ant, We would have so much cash behind us we could both be in the space race with Elon Musk or Richard Branson trying to reach Uranus first or be living on a luxury yacht off the coast of Canvey Island, instead I'm spending my days looking out the window and wondering if Mad Ciaran is going to move in next door

Up The Terrors !!!!!

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