Kings Of The Wandle

Blimey, the last blog of the 20-21 season. A strange time to be a football supporter, when the chances to see live games has been very limited. Sitting in an armchair at home listening to Glen Hoddle talking about matches might appeal to some but not me... I need a bit more entertainment than that dear reader....

Well it was a shame that only really a small group of Terrors made their way to the Friday Night Semi Final game with Hanwell, as it turned out to be rather an eventful Friday night in Wood Green. A journey back in time to my old stomping ground for the 2020/ 21 London

Senior Cup Semi Final being played at Haringey’s ground as Hanwell were having work carried out on their pitch. Haringey's ground is where I played Rugby for my school against the school my Dad used to go to, so in many ways strange to go back to the part of London where I grew up. A pub I used to drink in as a spikey haired Punk Rocker and where I saw the band Angelic Upstarts play has now been converted into

a massive betting shop and the whole area looked different and in

truth a bit cleaner than how I remembered the place. Mind you that was nearly 40 years ago since I left the Frozen Norf and headed down to tropical South West London. I'm one of those rare people whose happy in both North and South London. 

The kick off was delayed as Tooting's kit was stuck in traffic meaning the match finally kicked off at 8:30pm but everyone seemed pretty confident and in good spirits as we waited for the start. Got to chat to Caroline McRoyall, who leaves the club at the end of the season. A

lovely person and someone who has helped change so much at the club and helped it move forward into the modern age. Good also to meet up with that Irish lot again and although one of them is totally mad. They have added so much to the large group of strange characters that now

follow Tooting and Mitcham both home and away. Please, if you get the chance get to a couple of away days next season, do it there is always a good loud vocal following at most of our away games. Drink may also be involved. 

A very hard fought game in every respect. Challenges coming in thickand fast in a game which the Ref really should have done a lot more to calm down and get a grip on early on, instead of letting it turn into a kicking match. In truth both teams could have had players sent off and Hanwells bench were shouting and screaming the entire match. 

At least Hanwells kit arrived on                            time

The neutral Haringey fans and Ground hoppers all seemed to want us to win because of Hanwells heavy approach.

After going two nil up early on, we seemed to lose our shape after the first incident between the two sets of players. Hanwell then getting a goal back and I started to get every concerned that things could go pair shaped. The second half started off from where the first half finished, Hanwell putting loads of pressure on while their management ranted away at every single tackle. It was only a matter of time before someone would be shown a Red Card... And as we all know, it's normally a Terror who gets it. Goalie Gary Ross was shown a red card after catching one of their strikers which they equalised from the resulting free kick. A penalty followed and we were now 3-2 down and I honestly thought it was going to get worse... But what do I know, a

goal from a corner sneaked in on the 93 minute sending the game into extra time. Remember the game had kicked off nearly an hour later.

Hanwell scoring in the first period of extra time but you could see

although we were down to 10 men that the team where really getting things together and starting to out battle Hanwell and get the upper hand. Toots then equalising almost straight away making it 4-4 and I knew the Football gods were on our side. Dontai Stewart scoring Tooting’s 5th and match winning goal sending the handful of Travelling

Toots mad. Not a great game footballing wise but possibly one of the most eventful games I've ever seen and it will be one I'll always remember. Finally got home just before 1am, knackered but very very happy.

So now there was a little matter of a Cup Final and another a trip

back to North London for the game with AFC Wimbledon's youth team played at Hendon's ground. This also marked a return of the Wandle Derby... Elwandico, very important for local bragging rights. An early start this time for the 1pm kick off which didn't seem to affect the drinking habits of many of the travelling Terrors who help make up the 561 attendance at the Battle of The Wandle . Finding up how young some of The Wombles where still didn't make me feel confident after getting flash backs to the Surrey Cup final against the young Met Police team when we were well beaten in an awful one sided match. Wimbledon defending really well and playing a very organised game which often pushed us back and made it hard for us to break down. We

looked dangerous when playing long high balls up to our forward line as the young Wombles had to cope with our more physical game. 0 - 0 at half time and all to play for in the next 45 minutes. Tooting’s strength and experience started to make a difference between the two teams when a mistake by The Wombles keeper allowed Jake Rose to score our first goal and Dontai Stewart scoring directly from a corner a couple of minutes later. But Tooting never make things easy

and Wimbledon got one back near the end but we held on to lift The London Senior Cup yet again. Tooting and Mitcham’s eighth success in this Cup nearly equalling the 9 times winners Walthamstow Avenue. This

would be great to eclipse their record soon.

The best thing for me was seeing how much it meant to all the players and staff. So really happy for Ash and Cornelius as all the work they have put in over the last few years now has a Trophy to show for it  and hopefully the first of many more. Chuffed for Warren as well and a  fitting end to Caroline McRoyall time as the Chair at the club. Andy Harrup getting his own song as he joined the players on the pitch and was presented with the trophy. So many happy faces amongst all of our fans, both young and old. The ones who've followed the club for years and the ones who have joined the ranks of the Bog End in the last couple of seasons. We are very lucky at TMUFC now with everything that’s happening on and off the pitch. I know I sound like a parrot I say this so often but

it's true...

So a happy ending to the season which looked doomed a couple of months ago. Another trophy and even more to be positive about for next season.

What a great club !!!!

Up The Terrors !!!!!

#LondonIsBlackAndWhite

Tooting and Mumchums

Well it seems like ages since I last put pen to paper or in this case finger to keyboard, but here we are again. One big happy group of Terrors because Football is back at Fortress Imperial and at long last as we get a chance to finish of this seasons London Senior Cup. "The greatest Cup Competition in The World..." What ever happened to him? 

A crowd of over 400 for a London Senior Cup game is impressive. On a Tuesday night we rarely used to get over 60 for these games. Yes, several Sutton, Carshalton, Dulwich and supporters of other clubs boosted the numbers, but we should all still be very happy to see that we are now getting more and more interest in our fixtures. The more that come the more will tell their friends and family, the chance to see live Football without taking out a mortgage and the chance to stand on terraces with friends and family can't be underestimated. You could bankrupt yourself buying tickets for Chelsea and still not be sitting with people you know. The price to get into Premiership and Championship games really take the micky. I think a lot of people will realise that being skint because of Football is totally stupid when there are affordable football clubs nearby to go and watch. Great to see Besty, Mrs Besty and Rowan Besty at the game and good to see the other families that came along to see The Terrors, turning the back of the stand into a nursery for the second half. I’ll be very happy if the Tooting and Mumchums" return to see us again and great to know that we are now attracting Families of all ages though the turnstiles. I've said before and will happily say it again that the change in the atmosphere in the ground and the more positive vibe about the place is very welcome. Take care with behaviour though. We have what can be best described as quite a vocal crowd, good humoured and loyal but please bear in mind that the old days of ranting a raving from a few could have a very negative effect on things. It has taken a long time and a lot of hard work behind the scenes to get build the profile of the club and it wouldn't take too much to undo the good work put in by some many of the people who have put so much effort into changing things. As for the game... Well we beat Erith 2-1 with a last-minute own goal, but a win is a win no matter how it comes and everyone there could leave the ground after a good afternoon’s entertainment. Yet another penalty miss but at least unlike Daryl Colemans against Fisher it didn't nearly hit me full in the face. If hadn't been for my Cat like agility and Ninja reflexes my Boy Band Career could have been ruined by our Captain along with my front teeth and nose... I tend to groan not cheer when we get spot kicks now, it would be nice to score one or two next season chaps. Good to see Nic Taylor back at Fortress Imperial. An Ex Terror who is a larger than life character, good bloke and a great goalie. During a supporter’s v Players game one year he jumped over into the crowd and picked up Bog End Ant and sticking him in goal while he ran up the pitch for a corner. Ant was only about 5 or 6 then and he was so chuffed when it happened. I however shat myself and was trying to think of excuses to tell Mrs H if Ant got injured by a two footed challenge or an elbow in the face. It's things like that happening at games and at Non-League level that make everything so much better than the Premiership, Championship or whatever Super Dooper European League some nutcase thinks up. Arsenal should think about entering the Eurovision Song Contest next year as it might be one way of getting back in Europe for more of those Glorious European matches all Gooners live for.. Even with their piss poor record in all of the European cups and competitions over the years I doubt if even they could end up with "Nil Poi"... Mind you....

                      "Nil Poi"

 Congratulations to Sutton United on winning promotion to the Football League. Local rivals yes, but in truth now light years ahead of us on the pitch but it's always worth remembering we were in the same Division just over a decade ago and therefore proving that you can build into bigger and better things. Really pleased for my mate @bornatotter who is well chuffed now. As some of you know he has suffered with ill heath after his penis enlargement surgery went so tragically wrong. He turned up for the Erith game and instead of bringing bad luck, doom, gloom and defeat on the pitch he saw us win at last.

Locals  in Sutton celibrate their promotion to the football league

 Talking about Sutton... SCR will be playing in the same league as us next year so a nearby local derby for us all. Like Tooting Bec are to us there are several people who happily go and watch both Sutton United and Sutton Common Rovers. They play their home games at Gangrene Lane although this may well change when Sutton must dig their 3G pitch up and go back to the real thing now they are in Division Two. So, despite rumours and speculation we will be still in the same division as before (South Central) after the reorganisation of the leagues. A few hoping to be moved into the Southern League and some interesting away trips and new grounds to visit. Personally, I think we have more chance of going up from this league into the premiership, so I'm not too upset. I'm certain that we would have made the play offs in both cancelled seasons if the plague had not put an end to things. As we know, all of our major rivals have leap frogged us. AFC Wimbledon about to move back into the Plough Lane area after all their successes since forming up years ago. Dulwich who again have jumped up the Leagues from us and now Sutton taking the big step forward. Proof if needed that we can get things right and can build on what we have at TMUFC. We needed to learn from both Sutton and Dulwich and the way they promoted themselves and how their crowds grew, and media profile improved. I think we have done that, but most importantly for me, keeping our own identity in the process. Keep up the good work everyone. I will personally give you all a big soppy kiss when all this Covid bollocks is over. So, at the time of writing these words of wisdom we have a Cup Semi Final to look forward to this Friday. Either out to the Wild West to Hanwell or up norf to Haringey, my old stomping ground when I lived in that bleak Northern Wasteland, full of steel factories, mines, flat caps and whippets. The M25 acting as a barrier between the bleak depressed Northerners and those White Walkers... The land of snow and ice.... Better known as Waltham Abbey. 

 Up The Terrors!!!!!!

Reg Vardyians

Northwood...... Northwood...... The pain and anguish from our visit there last season is still etched into my feeble minded brain no matter how hard I try to stop thinking about it...... Northwood.... Northwood....
The Horror.... The Horror..... Winning 3-1 with a few minutes to go Toots managed to let in 3 goals and turn a comfortable win into a defeat of biblical proportions. But Dear Reader I'm over it now, I never ever think of that day.... Not once.

 

Now it's there turn to visit Fortress Imperial for our fourth game of the Victor Meldrew South Central campaign. It's also The TMUFC family fun day. So no stress, worry or blind panic as I set off to see if the Terrors could make it four wins in a row. Northwood almost putting a damper on the game by going ahead in the first half after having a goal disallowed earlier on. Toots seemed a bit out of sorts in the 1st half but came out in a far better mood for the second 45mins. An equaliser from Danny B set up a nervous finale as Toots pushed forward as Northwood looked to score from counter attacks. Well into injury time the fantastically talented Razzaq Coleman scored, sending Fortress Imperial into some pretty mental scenes as only last minute goals can do.
It was also the TMUFC family day and a good crowd of just under 300 turned out for the afternoon. Great to see Tooting MP Dr Rosena Allin-Khan at the game and hope to see her back again soon.

A big thanks to everyone who helped make the day a sucess. One of the really positive things this season is the amount of volunteers who help out on match days doing various jobs. This really does help improve the whole match day experience and means more things can be arranged and run behind the scenes  

 
Sunday and another trip to the Fortress to see Tooting Bec play Walton and Hersham play out a very entertaining game in the FA Vase. W&H winning 4-2. Tooting Bec our new tenants playing some good football but undone by a couple of great goals by the visitors. 

A reasonable crowd including supporters from Sutton United, TMUFC and a few ground hoppers

As I've said before Non League football is far far better than people seem to imagine. Two days, two games and still change out of a twenty pound note for admission and programmes for myself and Ant. Add a couple of quid for food and drinks still far less spent on watching mercenary premiership players going through the motions for a weekly wage that would cover the playing budgets of two or three Non League clubs for a year.

Another trip to Gangrene Lane for another Friday night FA Cup match for Sutton Common Rovers this time against Beaconsfield was next on my hectic lifestyle, an enjoyable game but it was not to be SCR night as they lost 3-1. I was hoping they would get through for the chance to play them at Suttons ground. It's about time we played there again.

      The Greggs Superstore on Sutton High Road.... The only reason to go to Sutton
                                                                   this season ?

 

Anyway sod them. The big game this weekend was the visit of AFC Varndeanians to Fortress Imperial for the FA Cup fixture. A couple of years ago the Footballing Gods seemed to have it in for the Mighty Toots, well the Terrors got a huge hand from them as just before we scored our first goal the Ref and Linesman missed a nailed on hand ball in the penalty area which the South Coast side were quite understandably pissed about. TMUFC pretty much scoring at the other end a couple of seconds later. Good job VAR was not in operation but it's about time we had some luck. Goals from Nathan Daly, David Castanho and Nebay Haile sealed the 3-1 win which takes us into the next round. A crowd of 260 at the game including a number of Varndeanians who brought more than most of the other teams in the Victor Meldrew South Central will do.

 

                                          Varndeanians on the starboard side Captain

Spent the second half with Lee from St. Matthews Project and what a top chap he is. St. Matthews links with Tooting and Mitcham are getting stronger and that can only be a good thing. Although we spent the whole of the 45mins moaning just like charectors from a bad episode of "Last Of The Summer Wine"

 

Please play them a visit and find out more about this fantastic group :

 

http://www.thesmp.net/

We have drawn Dorking Wanderers at home in the next round. A town famous for it's massive cock statue and little else. Saying that they are a team that have had a huge amount of sucess since we just beat them to the title in Franks second year so maybe I'm just jealous of sucess on the pitch and large cocks in general. Winable but it will be tough. Probably at good job it's at home. I'm sure they will bring a few over to add to the crowd, hope so anyway.

 

Massive Big Cock

 

Missed two events during the week. A league cup fixture at South Park and a 2-1 victory in the group stages. Why the league has thought this to be a good idea is totaly beyond me but "Hey Ho" a win is a win. Also missed the meet the manager get together at the ground die to work which was a shame and something I was hoping to attend. I work in a government office in Westminster as as you may have noticed there has been a lot going on there over the last few days, keeping your truely stuck at work sorting out various problems caused by the loons running the country.

 

Missed the 1-1 draw away to Harlow which means we have gone 8 games unbeaten so far this season. Fantastic stuff from the Terrors which has lead to much happiness and laughter in Hackbridge Towers over the last couple of months.

 

Talking of laughter the club will be holding a comedy night this coming Friday 20th Sept. So head over to Fortress Imperial for a night of chuckles and smiles which is not rhyming slang for piles. I'll be signing autographs and showing off my Twerking skills so be there early.

Up The Stripes !!!!!!
 

Wemmmmberleeeey

The magic of the FA Cup. A competition which has given me so many happy moments over the years, not with Toots obviously as my main FA Cup moment with TMUFC was seeing Bog End Ant get strung by a wasp at Leatherhead while we lost the game heavily. But I can dream of cup glory every season. On the way to Hertford while driving along the North Circular myself and Ant spotted in the distance the Wembley Arch from the middle lane on the Hangar Lane Gyratory System, rising high on the North London skyline like a giant toilet seat slowly closing on some kind of megalithic porcelain pan. Could this be our year. The Final against Manchester City on a hot day in May in front of a world wide television audience of millions...

 

                         The horrible type of online cyber bullying that I have to put up with.


Started off the FA Cup weekend with a trip to Gangrene Lane to watch Sutton Common Rovers game against Eastbourne Town for another Friday night footie fest. Meet up with those Pier Pressure chaps who kindly made up some limited edition stickers for myself and the cyber troll bastard face Bornatotter. A good set of chaps who are well worth following on Twitter etc. @TownUltras
Fame at last Dear Reader. I'm known in Eastbourne !!!!!!! and I'm still under 60

 

Fame at last

SCR winning the game the game 3-0. A good night out and an entertaining game from a neutral perspective. There are some good up and coming local clubs below us on the footballing pyramid.

Next on Saturday, it was time for the all conquering Terrors to start on the long long trip up to Wembley Way with a game against Kent Side Faversham Town. A comfortable 1-0 win in which their goalie made some fine saves although a good defensive preformance from Tooting made sure that there would be no trips to darkest Kent for a mid week replay. This also ensures my dream of being interviewed by the BBC match of the Day team on the day of the final without swearing, stuttering or soiling myself in front of Ian Wright could still come true. Again better finishing could have and should have killed the game off sooner, but a win is a win and our FA Cup journey continues. Of course I missed the only goal doing the Club Shop table thingy. We are hoping to end up in the old stewards room over at the far end of the ground once the turnstiles move. Until then look out for me shouting and yelling by the side of a scarf covered table.

 

No need to worry about missing the goal as Toots number one Vlogger Bog End Ant got it covered.

Bog End Ant - You Tube

Some more good stuff going online from those South London Is Black and White chaps going up on their blog. Please give the a follow and check out their stuff.

https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/

 

 

"Another brilliantly written article by Warren" Father explained to the family

"Yes Father, Besty is very clever as well" said oldest daughter Elizabeth.

"But like Duncan's work the best" added Philip

"Better than that fucking bollocks Harry does" laughed Mother.

 

Next up was a trip down to visit the team who have become are biggest rivals according to the Victor Meldrew review of the season twitter and web site......... Chipstead..... Yes, those bastards

Bank Holidays often fall on various religious and pagan festivals so the locals may well have started the day by stripping down to their underpants and chasing a lard covered pig around the town square before watching the town elder throw a donkey off the church roof before heading over for the visit of The Mighty Terrors. One of Chipsteads staff mentioned that Tooting bring a good away support, most of whom seem a bit nutty... What could he possibly mean....

 

 

                                                         Local Team for Local People

 

Yet again The Terrors away following seeming to make up a large percentage of the Bank Holiday crowd. I bet a few of locals had wished they'd stayed at home and washed the lard off as Toots took the lead after a defensive mistake by Chipstead let Danny Bassett score an easy tap in. Being the true sportsmen we are we let them get back into the game after letting them score a free header from a free-kick. Toots scored the winning goal when another free-kick from Daryl Coleman twisted into the back off the net sending the travelling Toots into raptures.
Games against Chippy Town often get a bit spicey and Omari Hibbert got shown a harsh red card later on in the game after he was fouled, the Chipstead player only getting a yellow. A very hot afternoon which must of been hard to play in. Glad the ground has plenty of cover and shade for the snowflake fans like me. So another victory which leaves us second on goal difference. Yes still early days but things are looking good. 

I'm happy, Ant is happy and Mrs H is happy because we are happy. What a great way to spend a Bank Holiday Weekend. Come and join us on the Bog End, this could very well be the start of something special....

 

Just seen the draw for the next round of the FA Cup where we play AFC Vardenians who come from Brighton despite sounding like Dr Who villains from the 7th moon of Uranus.

 

                           "We've drawn Tooting and Mitcham in the next round, Make sure you

                                             iron my best Stone Island jumper you mug"

 

 

Wemmmmberleeeey !!!!!! 

Up The Stripes !!!