Guest Blog From Darren Parker

Hello Dear Reader, another guest blog, this time from Darren Parker with his views on the South Park game and also his views on this season and what is happening at TMUFC...

 TMUFC Vs South Park………….time for a change? By Darren Parker.

 Having not attended any Tooting games for a few weeks, and with a weekend off work with no commitments, I decided to head down to Imperial Fields for my footie fix. In truth, I was in two minds as to whether I should go or not, as I haven’t really been enjoying the entertainment on the pitch recently, and thought my time might be better spent catching up with the washing. Having got that ridiculous thought out of my brain, I made my way down to the ground, just in time for a pre match pint, and a catch up with some familiar faces. The first thing that hit me when entering the bar area was the lack of people inside. It wasn’t so long ago, that with an hour to go till kick off, you would have had to wait in a queue at the bar to get served. Perhaps this has something to do with the recent increase in pricing, or are the hard core fans staying away in favour of washing their smalls! Entering the ground I was greeted by the familiar faces of Hackbridge Harry and Dee Pee, the later of who gave me a sneak preview of the new book that is coming out. It looks fantastic, and is a must buy for all die hard Tooting Fans. I would encourage everyone to get in contact with David to make a pre order. I certainly have, and look forward to getting my copy in the next few weeks. I was happy to see that although the bar area wasn’t particularly busy, the numbers inside the ground we’re still up to our normal levels. The team itself was pretty much an unchanged side since the last time I visited. Looking through the team sheet I recognised the majority of the names, which given the number of players used so far this season pleased me no end. I wasn’t particularly happy to see both Billy Brown and Jordan Clarke on the bench, both of whom are exciting experienced players that can make things happen. The game itself was fairly well contested in the early stages, with Toots having most of the possession, and the visitors looking dangerous on the break. We managed to take the lead on the quarter of an hour mark, a cross into the box looping away to Mark Waters on the edge of the box, who done really well to keep his effort down. The shot bounced off the bar and over the line, a good spot from the officials. This seemed to force South Park into a more attacking mentality, and it wasn’t long before they equalised through a penalty. Their big centre forward got kicked in the head, and I don’t think even the most die-hard Terror would argue with the referee’s award of a spot kick. South Park took control of the first half from this point, and I felt we were fairly lucky to go in level at the break. Tooting came out with a new vigour in the second half, and took the game to their opponents. However, we struggled to create any real clear cut chances and didn’t look like we would make the opposition keeper earn his money. I, along with a number of other supporters, became increasingly disgruntled at the seemingly lack of action to change things up, and started berating our Management team as to why Billy Brown wasn’t being introduced. The bog end faithful stirred up a rendition of “We want Billy Brown”, which finally had an effect with 5 minutes remaining. This was far too late in my opinion, but I was nearly made to eat my words as Billy forced the Park Keeper (I have been waiting to use that one!) into a brilliant save to tip the ball over the bar. It was a rasping shot, and came out of nowhere. That’s what Billy can do! Unfortunately, time ran out, and we were forced to settle for a point. Probably a fair result at the end of the day, and is a true reflection on the standard of our football at the moment. I didn’t really fancy a pint in the bar at the end of the game. My partner in crime was down in Exeter, watching a far higher standard of football, and I had promised Mrs P a Curry in the evening, so didn’t want to fall into her bad books by rolling in pissed. Two pints had served me well, and I would only have ended up crying on someone’s shoulder about the lack of experience and organisation within our team. Which brings me on to my thoughts on the current situation at our beloved club. In my opinion, we don’t have enough experienced players in our team, the tactics aren’t working, and things need to change. We very rarely create any clear cut chances, and keeping players like Brown, Clarke, and Hamlin sat on the bench is just criminal. Losing Daryl Coleman was a real kick in the teeth, and just a few weeks later our top scorer in Danny Williams also departs. Player retention is key at our level. For me, too many good footballers have left for pastures new and there is little cohesion in the team. We have given debuts to a number of youngsters, who in my opinion do not look ready for first team football at our level, and the obvious connection with a certain Consultancy company is quite worrying from a player promotion point of view. Sky Sports cameras have been an unnecessary distraction, and having the Manager’s discuss tactics on the pitch at half time so that they can get footage is just ludicrous. Ashley and Cornelius have worked wonders with the youth teams, and up until this season have performed reasonably well as joint first team Managers. Perhaps they have too much to deal with, looking after teams at so many levels, and can’t dedicate enough of their time to concentrate on first team matters. We have been told by our Members club chairman, via an unofficial forum, that everyone at the club, from the very top down, are really concerned about our results, and it is not an issue based around money. So hopefully, they will do the right thing, and make a change. Personally, I would love to see an experienced non-league Manager brought into the club, to take the reins of the first team. Let Ashley and Cornelius continue to work with our under 23’s and below, whilst learning from an experienced hand in first team matters. I am sure there are Managers about that would be happy to consider joining our club, and that would fit into the way that we operate. Thanks to Steve for giving me the opportunity to air my views and opinions at TMUFC, and I look forward to seeing you all at a game sometime soon. Come on you Stripes! 

Cheers Darren for sending this over.

#Disappointing

I have seen Toots lose cup finals and get relegated and still left the ground in a better state than I did when the final whistle blew at the match at Bedfont Sports. 3-0 up and looking good and then to end up losing 5-4 with a last-minute goal left me feeling totally numb. 

 The group of Bedfont kids singing “3-0 and you fucked it up” as the cheered their players off was the icing on the very large cake. Although in fairness to them, it was funny and if you are going to lose to a last-minute goal, it helps if it’s a good one.

 Check out Bedfont’s Twitter account to see the last goal if like me you are a glutton for punishment. Anyone that lobs the goalie from the halfway line should get a bit of respect for their efforts. I'm sure they will talk about that goal for years to come, I know we will.

I was also in the crowd at the 1995 UEFA Cup Winners' Cup Final between Arsenal and Real Zaragoza played in Paris when Ex Tottenham player Nayim, scored a last-minute goal with a 40-yard lob over Arsenal goalkeeper, David Seaman, securing the win. Oh, how I laughed when that went in. Nayim did fuck all at Spurs but will always be classed as a legend over at WHL because of that bastard goal. Unlike Paris however I didn’t get tear gassed when leaving the stadium by heavily armed riot police. 

Every cloud..... 

My first trip to Bedfont’s ground as the last couple of times Toots have played mid-week games there and as the season seems to be getting worse and worse, we must all get used to the fact that relegation is a very real possibility, it could well be my last visit for a while. 

 Tooting and Mitcham are rightly proud of the Academy set up and the way that it is helping young people in South London. But, have those same young people battered and beaten on the pitch every week will not do their confidence any good whatsoever.

 Some very angry travelling Terrors in attendance on Saturday and my mood not helped by the TMUFC official twitter account describing the game as “Disappointing” for about the hundredth time this season. If you're 3-0 up in any game, you should at the very least leave with one point. But this is Tooting I'm talking about and things don't go to plan.

 I don’t know what the solution is, and I have no words of in-depth footballing knowledge to say where the club has gone so badly wrong this season. But it has. The last relegation was bad enough but the whole set up at TMUFC seemed to grow stronger from that and I still regard that as the start of a new beginning at Fortress Imperial. But nevertheless, things need to change and maybe there will need to be some serious discussions behind the scenes about the direction the club is taking. Relegation into the Combined Counties would be nothing less than a disaster for Tooting.

Guest Blog from Bog end Ant

Dear Reader. A bit of a change for this one. A blog written up by Bog End Ant... 

 I feel like I've needed to write this blog for a while, things are just not right at the minute both on and off the pitch. 

 First of all the news come in last week about Kingstonian ground sharing at Imperial Fields with us next season. I am happy to be helping out another local club and have nothing against Kingstonian, another club with a rich history and it is a real shame that they don't have their own home to play at. Although, I and many others have questions about what is happening to Tooting Bec FC. I understand that Bec will definitely not be playing on our main pitch next season but there is still uncertainty about what will be happening to them. Tooting Bec are a good club run by great people who I get on very well with. I do wish them well and I hope that the great relationship our club has with them is not affected by this news. 

 There are plans for a changing block and seating to be installed on the back 3G pitch which is somewhere Tooting Bec could potentially play their games and that leads me onto my next point. My only problem with this is that the stadium plans seem very long term and I can't see them being ready for next season. Tooting and Mitcham have been granted planning permission for a new block of flats to be built right by the ground and next to the site. There are also plans for a new facility to be built on the back pitch as mentioned above when talking about Tooting Bec. 

 If the plans do happen (I'll believe it when I see it), then I think they will be a brilliant thing for our football club. I believe that the idea is for the money from selling the flats will go straight back into the club for building the other new facilities. This all seems like good news and hopefully everything works out for the best. 

 On the pitch, this season has been dreadful for Tooting and Mitcham, after the London Senior Cup success last season, this season was expected to be a big one and we had high hopes of potential promotion, unfortunately this hasn't worked out at all. We have had 50 players play for us so far this season which is both very inconsistent and very concerning. 

The last 2 games away to Staines and at home to Hanwell both ended in 2-0 defeats. Staines were bottom of the league at the time and outmuscled and outplayed us all night, it was embarrassing to watch. The home game against Hanwell was a similar story with us not having a shot on target in either game. To be fair to Hanwell they are a very good team who are chasing a play-off spot, they were well up for it against us looking for revenge for last season’s Cup semi-final so I weren't expecting much going into the game. 

 There are still concerns that we could get Relegated, we are only 6 points of the drop and the teams that are in the Relegation zone at the minute are Staines who beat us the other week and Guernsey who still have many games in hand and are playing us next Saturday which is increasingly looking like a relegation 6 pointer. 

I do hope that we have enough to stay up but we can't be naive as we made the same mistakes the last time we got relegated in the Bostik Premier. 

 In my opinion it is clear to see that there is not enough experience in this current squad and we are desperately missing key players. The club prides itself on developing youth players and we have a brilliant track record with the likes of Isiah Jones, Hady Ghandour, Abraham Odoh, Sam Forlain and Saidou Khan all playing professional football. It is great to see all these players doing well especially Isiah Jones who is playing week in week out and getting Man of the match awards in the championship. He has become a fans favourite at Middlesbrough, and it won't be long until top Premier league clubs are looking out for him. However, I do wonder how this ethos benefits the first team as it is clear that things are not working at the minute.

I am very concerned that the current model and ethos of the football club is not the right way in trying to get this club promoted and to be sustainable in a higher league. There have been many successful things happening at the club lately with the youth academy, planning permission being successful and the Farm Road project, but as many others have said this success doesn't seem to translate to the first team which in the end of the day is what us supporters care about most at the club. 

 Monday's game vs Hanwell attracted a crowd of 333, our highest of the season so far. To be fair to Hanwell they brought a fair few supporters with them. There are many new faces at Tooting games but with the way we played on Monday and so far, this season it will be difficult to keep these people coming to games especially with how successful many other clubs have been nearly. Sutton United are now in the football league and chasing promotion to League One, AFC Wimbledon are back at Plough Lane, Carshalton Athletic are doing well in the Isthmian Premier and attracting very good crowds, even Walton & Hersham are getting good crowds this season with 503 watching them on Monday. With all these clubs nearby being very successful, if you are a local floating fan looking for a game to watch, then Tooting would probably be one of the last places you'd look to at the minute. 

 As many people are aware Sky sports are currently filming a documentary on young footballers in South London. They have been filming at many Tooting games this season both home and away. They've been using microphones during half time talks with managers and even asked the linesmen to move out the way at the Hanwell game. They've also been using drones at games. 

Many of us on the Bogend have made ourselves clear what we think about the cameras both vocally at games and also on social media. It's not just our supporters who don't like them, If you ask many of our players they will say that they don't like the cameras following them around and find them a distraction. Another reason why I don't like these cameras is that they give opposition teams extra motivation to beat us. They see the cameras there following Tooting and that gives them the extra will to win. An example of this Is when we lost 2-0 away to South Park on a Tuesday Night. After the game South Park's twitter tweeted how their win was caught on camera and many of their players had tweeted how good it was to win in front of them. 

 Social media wise Tooting and Mitcham have come a long way in the last few years. The people running our club’s social media have brought this club into the 21st century and I'm really happy and grateful for that. However, in my opinion, the main 2 Hashtags the club use at the minute, which are #ClubOfProgression and #TerrorsTogether couldn't be further from the truth at the minute. 

 At the moment it seems like all our local rivals including Carshalton and Corinthian Casuals are progressing very well both on and off the pitch with crowds going up and both doing well on the pitch in the Isthmian Premier. Many other clubs nearby seem to be progressing and going places, but Tooting still seem to be stuck where we are, exactly the opposite of what I'd consider a Club Of Progression. #TerrorsTogether is another hashtag the clubs uses on social media, used with the best of intentions but Tooting And Mitcham are not a together football club at the minute. 

There is a major split between the fans and the club, and it does feel like us vs them for a lot of our supporters. There also seems to be a big split in our own fan base between older and newer supporters which has turned quite sour this season especially in recent weeks with there being many arguments happening recently about the way the club is on and off the pitch. Tooting and Mitcham isn't a happy place to be at the minute and in my opinion, the opposite of a together football club. 

 This club has got so much potential with a great ground and great facilities but at the minute we are not living up to it. So after all I've said and moaned about, if you think I'm going to Bedfont Sports away on Saturday you'd be absolutely right.

The Joy of Football - Part 38

Hope you all had a groovy Christmas and are looking forward to a fantastic 2022 both on and off the pitch…. And that Dear Reader is about as happy and cheerful as this blog gets….

 Now for the Hanwell game and where to begin is a tough one. A bad game in which we didn’t seem to trouble their goalie at all. Very sad to hear booing at the end. Many of these players are very young and looked totally crushed when they came up to the fans that stayed behind after hearing the jeers. But the fans pay good money to watch the team. Their weekends can be ruined by bad results just as much as the players and coaches. They have a right to be upset and to question what has happened this season. It upset me to hear the jeers and it upset me to see the players faces, but it also upset me to see the faces of many of our fans as they headed home or to the bar for the after-match discussion. 

 Sky TV are still filming over at Fortress Imperial. I’m sure when they first come into film the team and academy, things were buzzing after the progression of a number of players though the footballing pyramid and the London Senior Cup win. It would have been great to get more media exposure and help raise the profile of the club. At the moment, hopefully they will have lots of positive footage from behind the scenes as there has been very little to look forward to if the match day footage gets shown. It’s bad enough seeing the team lose but to know that it’s being filmed for all to see is sickening. A couple of people involved in the footballing side of things have said that having Sky walking around filming has been a distraction that the players and coaches do not need. It’s also obvious that the Bog End faithful are not happy with the cameras at games. I for one do not blame them. 

Non-League football has become more and more popular, Sky will know that. The chance to stick their nose into a number of places will be too much for them to turn away on their hunt for viewing figures and the chance to fuck up yet another sport…. Bear that in mind if in 5 years’ time our away game with Chipstead is on Pay to View on Thursday night at 9pm. 

 There are splits growing in the ranks of our supporters. The various reasons would fill a blog in on their own, one I may well do. Different groups with different views on how things could or should be done. All of their views valid and worth listening to even if they are not the views you want to hear or agree with. I like to think that I know most of the people who come to see Toots and have heard various views on how the clubs has gone wrong and what the club is doing right. Covid has caused the cancellation of a meet the people who run the club night. A new date needs to be looked into and if possible and able to be done safely as I know a lot of people are concerned about the direction the club is going. Some kind of clear the air meeting should be done to at least try and heal some of the bad feeling at Toots.

 Kingstonian will be ground sharing at Fortress Imperial next season it has been announced. Strange move for them as they were over at Corinthian Casuals and at least were playing games in the Kingston Area. An awkward journey for many of their fans and one that many seem unhappy with. This is meant to be for a couple of years / seasons until they are able to go back to the Kingston. As for Tooting Bec and the various teams they have set up, I should imagine there will be major changes for them. What this will mean for all three clubs remains to be seen but I’m fully expecting various weird and wonderful conspiracy theories.

 Let’s face some facts here. TMUFC have lost two years’ worth of income including gate money due to Covid so in all honesty extra gate money coming in will help out any short falls that have happened over the last couple of seasons. I work in the facilities industry. This involves looking after and managing budgets, invoices and bills. We need to face facts that to run Imperial Fields is very costly. The Electric, gas and water utilities have to be paid. Insurance and rates. The upkeep of the ground and pitches. Ironically the Sky sports subscription to show games in the bar, not forgetting the wages of the staff etc. Plus, the added cost of finding funds for the playing budget all needs to be found. 

I get on with both Steve and Jackie and have no axe to grind or hidden agenda against them or the way the club is run as a business etc. But I believe that supporters should be given some idea of the costs of the day to day running of TMUFC. I'm not suggesting anything untoward, but how was the money collected on the Crowd Funder page put to use at Imperial Fields. A lot of people put money into this and would like a rundown of what the money went towards I would ask for more information from the club and the Members club, who I believe own 10% of Imperial Fields on what goes on behind the scenes and what goes on in general. The social media side has much improved in the last few years, but supporters need more updates. The rumour mill often goes into overdrive when announcement are made. Two and Two becomes Five as people try and find out what is happening. For a start some of the conspiracy theories that often spring up could be put to bed early instead of growing and growing. A lot of the good work that the club does with the local community and local business either goes unnoticed or is not explained allowing Roswell/ JFK type conspiracies to spring up. Recently, the club has had to find a lot of money to upgrade the ground after recommendations and regulations that have come into force since the terrible fire at Grenfell. Plus, the work done on the pitch. Yet this is not common knowledge. If more people knew this, they may well become more understanding when it comes to the costs of running the place. Bills have to be paid and staff have to be paid. My job possibly may give me a better idea of costs and budgets. Not everyone has the same experience. We don't need to know everything and see every single invoice but an idea of what is going on behind the scenes could help people understand more. Might even help stop more of the negative stuff that goes up on various platforms. 

 At this moment in time many people do not know what the Members Club do or their role in the club and what stake they have in the set up at Imperial Fields. There is very little communication between the Directors of the Members Club and the other supporters when it comes to these matters. Directors sit in the stand and are not seen or visible before and after games. It has been good to see Chris Woolley walking around and chatting at resent home games, it would be good to see a bit more of that in future. In short and maybe unfairly, many fans do not know who the Directors of the Club are and what the Members Club do. There needs to be more open dialog between the Members Club and the supporters when it comes to their part in the running of the club and financial matters. Supporters need to be informed of what the Members Club are asked / expected to contribute to the Team / playing budget each season. What other costs the Members Club may also be responsible for during the year. Without this information people do not know where their money is going or what it is being spent on. A regular newsletter given out on match days or regular articles in the programme could go a long way to heal the "Them and Us" feeling that some supporters have in regard to the Members Club. The club over the years lost a number of supporters who were willing to help out but became disillusioned with things at TMUFC. Last of information and bad communication often playing a part in this. 

Christ, how depressing was that…. It must be bad enough having read it if you managed to get this far. Believe me it was hard enough writing the thing. I’ll be there Saturday and I’ll be cheering the team on. None of us are enjoying this. Not the players, fans, coaches, owners or staff. Try to stay positive and cut others some slack if you don’t agree with them. We are stronger together than we are when split up into various factions. 

 Up The Terrors !!!!!

Hackbridge Wonderland

Mention Westfield to most people they will think of the large shopping centres in and around London which, in turn make me dream of  "Dawn of the dead" type of days out. Well getting eaten alive by Zombies would have been preferable to witnessing  two of the worst Tooting performances that I have been "lucky" enough to witness over the last couple of years at Westfield ground in Woking.

         Merry Christmas Oiks

As Toots enter the Christmas holiday fixtures needing points, playing Westfield could either be the test the team needed to help kick start the season again or the chance for me to start the holiday period  looking at my online credit card statement while crying and praying for a Zombie apocalypse to put an end to this season sooner rather than later. 

A one nil victory in a game that will not live in the memory of those who turned their backs on Christmas shopping in Croydon for a Saturday afternoon in the freezing cold. Still, three points and I left Fortress Imperial feeling rather pleased which is more than could be said for Westfields twitter account writer who after moaning constatly about time wasting from TMUFC was trolled by various Terrors all though Saturday night. I've watched loads of clubs do it to us and it made me rather happy to do it back to someone at long last... But my happiness was short lived.

Like many, I work very long hours in a badly paid job. This means I miss the vast majority of mid-week away games. Every now and again I thank fuck for long hours as I missed the trip to Staines for what would turn out to be another "disappointing" result against a team which somehow was having up until then, a worse season than we are. I'm told by those in the know that we have so far played over 45 different players in our attempt to find our best match day squad. Even if this is down to the ongoing pandemic or injuries, we are strugling on the pitch to get things right. Not good is it.

There are some large splits in the ranks between fans and supporters about the direction the club is going. The club of "Progression" is not progressing that well. It's hard to sit on the fence when it is obvious to everyone that on the pitch things are going badly. I have accepted the fact that the best we can hope for is a mid table position in the league, there is still hope for a good cup run as we are still in a few trophies, but this season has been dreadful league wise. 

Yet again just to add to the joy, all other local teams all seem to be doing well but never the less we are still gettings loads of new faces in the stands and terraces at Toots, many now becoming regulars. Maybe there is some kind of masochistic sex cult in the area which involves regular bouts of pain and humiliation.

"Right, you dirty little pig. After you've finished the lawn, you can clean the toilet with your toothbursh and then go and watch Tooting and Mitcham"

So after Santa emptied his sack over the carpet at Hackbridge Towers there was the small matter of our away game with Sutton Common Rovers. Worth bearing in mind we would regularly play their Landlords Sutton United in games not so long ago. Now at the time of writing they sit in the play off positions in League two while we have Chipstead as our big local rivals or Sutton Common Rovers.... But..... The dreaded Bug struck again which meant no Christmas fixtures this year. On the plus it meant Christmas wasn't ruined by by another "Disappointing" result.

Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!!! 

Thanks and a Merry Christmas and fantastic New Year to Jimmy and everyone at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting and thanks for their help and support over the last 12 months

St Matthews Project are still doing great community work and putting on various events over the Christmas period. A fantastic group of people. Great to chat with a couple of people from there at the Westfield game.

Please go and visit: 

https://thesmp.net/ 

And show them the support they deserve.

If you need a bit more intelligence with your reading material than this. Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff than this rubbish I come out with  https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/ 

Last but not least, all the hard people over at Tooting and Mitcham who help out on match days and in many cases all though the week at Fortress Imperial. Thanks to all of you xxx

Christmas in Hackbridge Towers is always a happy occasion. We all sit around the table while I play the harmonica and Ant sings Christmas Carols with lyrics changed to mention how shit Dulwich are. Mrs H was really happy with her black designer "Sports Direct" bag which is the equivalent of a   Louis Vuitton handbag to the locals in Sutton, you can guess how envious the local ladies will be when we next visit the Asda. I've told her not to take it to the Asda on Beddington Lane though as she might well get mugged.

Bog end Ant has his £400 Stone Island underpants to wear on match days and I got a tube of Pringles. Hope Christmas was full of peace and love where ever you are.... 

Up The Terrors !!!!!

Heart Of Darkness

The Joseph Conrad story "Heart of Darkness" tells the tale of Charles Marlow, a sailor who takes on an assignment from a Belgian trading company as a ferry-boat captain in the African interior. This dark book is one I have read a number of times and would go as far to say it is one of my favourite books. It provided the inspiration for Francis Ford Coppola's epic 1979 film Apocalypse Now. A dark tale telling how normal men can turn into inhuman beasts, capable of committing the most dreadful of crimes. A story I can relate to after my trip back from Barking a couple of seasons ago.

 "You too can own this special commemorative 50 pence coin celebrating Tooting and Mitcham United's 2020 London Senior Cup Final victory over AFC Wimbledon for the special price of £79.99. These coins are a limited edition and will be highly sort after".

 Talking about bloody Marlow…… Yes, Dear reader, yet another defeat this time 2-1 at Fortress Imperial. Swap the mighty Congo or the Mekong Delta for the River Wandle and Steve Carpenter for Kurtz and you could do a sequel. The Police Helicopters that regularly fly over the Budge Lane estate could play Wagner out of loudspeakers as they hunt out signs of angry locals and burnt-out mopeds. 

 As for the game… You know what I’m going to say don’t you… Well, we should have got at least a point from this game but as per usual ended up with nothing to show for the hard work on the pitch. So, with that in mind, the last thing we really needed was a Tuesday night game against high flying Chertsey and guess what… You know what I’m going to say don’t you… Yes, Dear reader, another defeat this time 2-1 at Fortress Imperial. Well, we should have got at least a point from this game but as per usual ended up with nothing to show for the hard work on the pitch…… Oh for Fuck Sake. I could cut and paste my last few blogs and they would all look relevant. 

 We can go on and on about bad luck, I can mention the footballing gods having it in for us. We can all say how well we played and fought back, but the truth is, our defence can't defend, and our attack can't find the back of the net. I believe we are now on our fifth goalie so far in the season. The vast majority of goals conceded seem to be though defensive mistakes or bad communication at the back. I felt really down after the game against Chertsey, times like this I hate football. 

Those sexy chaps at South London Is Black and White set up a “Twitter Space” get together which gave us / me a chance to get things off our / my chest which was for me personally a good thing. 

 Visit: https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com 

And follow them on Twitter: @TaM_BaW 

 I’m sure they will be running so more counselling sessions in the future for us Terrors. Hope so. Spoke to Bog End Ant about doing one ourselves so watch this space.

"Right, just enough time for a quick wank before I log onto The Bog End forum"

 And then dear reader some joy. Just ignore my last couple of paragraphs of misrable bollocks... Sittingbourne beaten in the League Cup thingy trophy followed by back-to-back wins in the league against Chalfont and away to (Margaret) Thatcham. Neither games could be classed as being great matches, but I enjoyed them both immensely. We won ugly and against Thatcham even kept a clean sheet. Hurrah !!!! A good day out past Reading and hopefully next time we play them it will be on a nicer day weather wise. A good place to spend a Saturday afternoon. The locals were rather cruel about the dress sense of one of our fan’s choice of wet weather clothing, but we had the last laugh on the pitch. Of course, then we go and lose away to Binfield 1-0 after giving away a goal early on and we are back where we started. One step forward, two steps back. This season, Two clubs go straight down and third from bottom end up in some kind of playoff game with whoever finishes third in the division below. Not a game you would want to have at the end of the season. We are too good to go down. We have too many talented players to go down. Our management and coaches are too good to get relegated…. But it doesn’t matter. We can all name a team at some level on the Footballing pyramid who were “Too Good to Go Down” but did anyway. 

 A mid table finish seems very likely, but a couple more bad results could drag us back into the mix. A number of new players have come in and I feel a lot more optimistic than I did after the Chertsey game but obviously we need some more wins under our belts moving forward. 

 A shame to see Daryl Coleman leave. A great leader and fans favourite, I wish him the best wherever he goes. One of the worst things about football and no matter who you support is when popular players leave and go elsewhere. This happens a lot at our level and can happen for all manner of reasons. One good thing about our support is that we are always welcoming to our ex-players and generally always give out a warm welcome when paths cross. So, a lot to think about for the rest of the season. Will we turn things around, will we get hit with another lock down and will Jon Simpson ever wear that yellow jacket again? Only time will tell Dear Reader…. 

Her: He's thinking about other women.

Him: What coat shall I wear to Thatcham away next season.

 Up The Terrors !!!!

One Minute

I’m back Dear Reader for more tales of the joy of following Tooting and Mitcham from my luxury office here in Hackbridge Towers. As I gaze out of my window and look over at the wonderful Beddington Sewage Works which looks over the local inhabitants like a grand medieval castle, my thoughts turn to football as I try to forget the raw shit that was pumped into the River Wandle a couple of weeks ago. 

"My Dear Ratty, It's not smelt like this since Dulwich ground shared"

 I’ll gloss over the victory against Guernsey as I was not there, but I was jolly happy seeing the result. Also, the victory over Met Police in the Surrey Senior Cup which I think was the first time I’ve seen us beat them. A crowd over 80 at Fortress Imperial was bigger than what we would normally expect in the early rounds of that competition. The crowd including the mass ranks of Stone Island wearing Daily Mail and Express readers who follow Met Police over Land and Sea…. 

Next up an away fixture over at Ashford, but both me and Bog End Ant thought we’d give that a swerve and go and watch our near neighbours AFC Croydon play Fleet town where we happily paid our money and joined the fun and games at the back of the cemetery. Croydon in their previous life were used to getting big crowds but only around 50 turned up for this fixture including a few from Fleet. AFC Croydon started the game by doing a “Tooting” which means they went 1-0 down in less than a minute, possibly around the 15 second mark…. I thought it would be amusing and make a funny little tweet about them out doing anything that Tooting and Mitcham had done so far this season by giving a goal away in under a minute. So, you can imagine how I laughed when finding out by the time I’d written and then posted my humorous tweet at the expensive of AFC Croydon that Toots had gone 1-0 down away at Ashford in under two minutes. Mr Fucking Chuckles strikes again. 

With that in mind you can also guess the size of my grin when visiting Basingstoke, a week later Tooting managed to go 1-0 down in under a minute yet again. Christ knows what the managers and coaches must say to the team before kick-off or what the players say to each other doing the pre match huddle… My money is on “Let’s make Harry cry”. 

 We played well at Basingstoke losing 3-2 to a dodgy penalty which came seconds after Billy Brown was brought down for what all the travelling Terrors in the 653-crowd thought was a free kick, but to be chasing the game after the first minute again puts far too much pressure on the team. We should have left with a point but didn’t and that has been the story of this season so far. For any lovers of Drum and Bass I suggest heading over to Basingstoke on match days to join in with the two D&B throbbers who stood behind the goal and keep the crowd “entertained” throughout the game. No wonder so many of the locals seemed pill’ed up and off their heads. But credit where credit is due having a song about us sounding like Janet Street Porter was pretty funny. 

"Next time I go to fucking Basingstoke, I'll ram a drumstick up his ring piece"

 I think that unless we really hit form over the rest of the season that any chance of hitting a playoff spot must have disappeared over the horizon and a mid-table position is the best we can look at. Yes, we beat Guernsey away and even beat Met Police before the trip to Ashford and then Basingstoke but this “One step forward, two steps back” is wearing a bit thin now. Disappointing when we know we have such great talent playing for us. The football Gods seem to have it in for us again. By the way…. Basingstoke lost at home to Chertsey 5-1 and at the time of writing this we are 13th in the league and just two points ahead of the relegation positions. I’m getting quite concerned about things seeing as how we sleepwalked into our last relegation. The club prides itself on the progression for young players but does anyone really think that scouts or representatives from further up the footballing pyramid are going to come to watch us in the Combined Counties where the crowds are under 60 in most cases or walk through a dark cemetery and along a frankly dangerous looking path to watch us play AFC Croydon in our “Big” derby game or walk along the busy A3 to watch us play Colliers Wood. 

 Most of the people I know and have contact with over at Toots like myself remain positive that we can and will turn things around…. But there are dark clouds looming. 

 Shout Out Time !!!!!!!!! 

 One good thing about my day out in Basingstoke was bumping into Megan on the way home who is one of the coaches from St Matthews Project. Always good to chat with people who help over at SMP. We have a number of links and friendships with the people there. Please visit: https://thesmp.net 

There is also a Youtube channel showing the work they do. Check out these links for a couple of short films on what they get up to: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCwQmu_sGrc 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNR8YR1Gx4I 

Spread the word please, so much negative press about young people especially in South London and yet there are so many people making a huge difference who never get mentioned. 

 As always, a big thanks to Jimmy and everyone over at the Ramble Inn up near Amen Corner in Tooting for all their support. They have done so much to bring people together and get them down to Tooting games over the last few years. 

 Last but not least, if you think that I’m the only highbrow footballing pundit over at Tooting and Mitcham then you’re in for a shock !!!! Go and visit those South London Is Black and White Herberts for far better Terrors related stuff all written by intelligent sensible people, not the rantings of a mad old bloke in Hackbridge. https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com

Up The Terrors !!!!!