Cheeky Cheeky....

Hi Groovy Gang.... More words of wisdom from Hackbridge Towers on the glorious Toots.
So the last game of the 2018-19 season was a home fixture against FC Romania, a team formed a few years ago from Romanians living and working in London. They started right at the bottom and have successfully made their way up the footballing ladder. I missed the game at their place but those who went said what a friendly club they were and I'm glad they avoided relegation which at the start of the season might have seemed possible. Stories like this are great and just show that although we have lost some great and famous clubs over the years that there are always new ones to take their place.

Romania has also given us Count Dracula and the Cheeky Girls so I sent off to Fortress Imperial after locking up the local virgins in Hackbridge hoping for an exciting afternoon of neck biting, bat transformation and bottom molesting but alas my neck remained bite free and no one fondled my buttocks in our 2-1 victory. A game which only really came to life in the last 15mins.

Gabriela and Monica waiting for the Tram at Wimbledon Station before heading  to Tooting and Mitcham ready for an afternoon of bottom touching.

At the end of the game myself and Dave Irons presented the Supporters club trophies in the club bar. Antonio Simeone was voted player of the season... Well deserved in my opinion and it's been great to have him back this year. Dominic Morgan Griffiths came 2nd with Isaiah Jones coming in 3rd. Plenty of votes were cast and pretty much every player got voted for which shows how well the whole team has played well this season. Ajani Domingo-Carrington won goal of the season for his goal against Chalfont. Isaiah's goal at the away game at Marlow also received a number of votes.

Vote for the best game was the 4-3 victory at Egham and worse was Northwood away. A big thanks to everyone who voted and a really big thanks to Dave Irons and Charlie Till for getting the trophies and doing the count up of the votes cast.

Cheers to Kevin Cummins for the photo of myself and Dave Irons presenting Antonio with the   Supporters Player of The Season Award.

So after the 2-1 victory, we finished in 6th place, just outside the play offs. A position I would have given my right hand for after the first 45 mins at Egham Town away back in October last year. We had lost all but one of our league games, a couple in quite spectacular style and were 3-1 down and the travelling Terrors were about the most angry I've ever seen. Which Dear reader if you know anything about TMUFC is quite a statement to make.... The second half is seen by many as the time when things turned around. Three second half goals saw us snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. We had had some good cup results in the various trophies Toots enter every season so there was a sense that things would/ could change after the final whistle.... And they did. This started a good run for the Terrors which put us into the top ten in the table which we stayed in for the rest of the season. Apart from the defeat at Westfield away I can't think of any other games in which we really didn't put a shift in. I've enjoyed this league campaign and their is defiantly a good sense of optimism around the place now.  The management and coaching team deserve a lot of credit for what they have achieved and the football style we play. Well done....

I know there have been a number of moans and groans about playing in the South Central but I believe we have a better chance of making the play offs or going up from this league than being moved across to the South East league where some better known clubs await. Admittedly we have no geographical or historical rivals in this division but our home crowds have been better attended by our own fans this season than last. I was worried that we would be playing home games in front of crowds around the 100 mark after last seasons relegation but I've been proved wrong. Again though not many clubs brought an away following to Fortress Imperial, those that did are looking at promotion anyway.

As for our friends and local rivals, I'm very pleased to see Corinthian Casuals hold there own in the premiership, Carshalton at the time of writing are in the play offs against Merstham which could lead to back to back promotions for the Robins. Dulwich are happy back in their car park and although they nearly got dragged into the relegation battle they stayed just outside and continue to get huge crowds over at Champion Hill. Sutton's season although not as good as last year they still managed to be a major pain in the arse to a number of so called bigger clubs and their fans.  I should be green with envy and although I wish we were in a higher division I've seen enough change at Toots to feel very optimistic for the 2019-20 season. Behind the scenes more people have been getting on board and helping out around the place and there is a better feeling about the club and how things are going. Just remember how things were at the end of last season and how many of us wondered how we could cope in the future. We  have new noisy neighbours for next season with Tooting Bec playing their fixtures at Fortress Imperial in what we all hope with prove to be a successful partnership moving forward. We play each other in a friendly fixture this coming Saturday 4th at home. Kick of at 3pm... Come on Tooting !!!!!


After this on Tuesday 7th May we all head of to Dorking to see the Surrey Senior Cup Final with Met Police. They are in the play offs in their division and will be a hard team to beat. But on our day we can out play anyone and with what I should imagine will be a loud vocal following of Travelling Terrors anything can happen. We have always had good away support and this game will be no different.....

Met Police hooligan firm "The Rozzers" packing the terraces of Imber Court before starting yet another disgusting afternoon of football violence and thuggery.

A big thanks to all the people who follow in on twitter has I've now got over 600 followers, most of which may well be Russian Sex Bots but I'm still chuffed that anyone
A/ Reads my rubbish.
B/ Reads more of my rubbish on Twitter.

So a big hug and cuddle from me xxx

Up The Stripes !!!

Disco Dancing Easter Bunnies

As we now head to the end of the season it's time for yet another view of the black and white world from my throne in Hackbridge Towers. You will all be pleased to know that Tim Magone finally purchased a bloody fridge magnet so my constant abuse, online trolling and verbal assaults have worked. If you don't want to suffer the pain and humiliation Tim went through... Buy a fridge magnet or pen from my high end shopping emporium. You've been warned.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy"

Right then, I now find myself with rather a large problem. Those chaps at the blog site southlondonisblackandwhite  are putting out really good stuff full of insightful football wisdom and well written content about Tooting and Mitcham far removed from the rabbling shite that I come out with, I will now have to up my game. Warren and Besty have been great additions to the Bog End Ranks and are looking for further contributors  When I say "Up my game" it means I probably won't so Dear Reader expect more of the same rubbish from me moving forward. I'm too old to change.
Please check out their blog by clicking on the link below.

https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/
 

And while I'm on the subject of young sods stealing my online thunder please check out the fruit of my loins Bog End Ants You Tube channel for his view of the black and white world, always worth checking out. Please subscribe to keep up with the latest Vlogs and please remember that the more successful the channel is, the more chance is that he will be able to buy me and Mrs H a six bedroomed home somewhere glamorous like Canvey Island

Bog End Ant

The "Race" night over at Fortress Imperial which was well attended and hopefully will be the start of many events held by the members club. Over £1600 was raised and the night was a great success. I continued my normal luck with picking winners by losing in every race while those around my counted their winnings with big grins and laughter. Events like this can help a lot with getting more funds to help the playing budget so please come along to any future events. I'm still waiting for the go ahead for my "Bog End Mud Wrestling and Mixed Martial Arts Custard Pie Fight" evening to get the ok.  

 

Saturday the 13th April saw another away day victory and another 3 points in the bag when the Terrors headed West to Ashford Town which will live long in the memory not for the game but for one of the most surreal pitch invasions I've ever seen and watching Tooting and Mitcham you do tend to see a few. After the first goal one of the travelling Terrors jumped on the pitch and did a little disco dance very similar the ones on show on Westminster Bridge by the climate protesters to impress the Ashford goalie and make him feel better about letting the goal in. This was either the first act of Extiction Rebellion the climate protest group or a result of too much alcohol by one of our regular pitch encroachers. This of course gave the travelling Bog End to relive the golden days of 1970s disco by spending the rest of the game strutting their funky stuff in a boogie wonderland (Ashford). It's never dull watching Tooting and you never really know what will happen when you walk through the turnstiles at a Toots game. We certainly have some characters at TMUFC.

 

 

The following Monday night was the under 23s game against Sittingbourne and the chance for them to finally get there hands on the championship trophy at long last. In what turned out to be a rather comfortable 6-1 victory the team claimed the top spot. I've watched the Under 23s a few times this season and been really impressed. The set up at TMUFC is really working well and the style of football played by all the teams is worth checking out. If you get the chance in the future try and get to some of the youth games and support them.

 

 

Easter Saturday was the TMUFC family day game against Chalfont St Peter. A crowd of 378 turned up on the free admission day for what would be a pretty good match on a very hot day. Chalfont's goalie making some good saves in a 1-1 draw which was a fair result in the end. The result however did put an end to any play off chances we may of had. A couple of good things apart from the new faces at the game was that I was able to entertain the crowd with my singing using a mobile PA unit supplied by Phil Nightingale who says I can use it at further home games which I'm sure everyone will look forward to. Saturday also marked the return of "Terror The Tiger" the club mascot and the chance for Phil to work of a few pounds in the hot sun while wearing the big furry suit. I'm told that there are various adult fetish groups and sites for people to dress up in animal gear and act in ways that would outrage the likes of Cliff Richard or Jacob Rees Moog so there may be yet another way for the club to make more money, I'm sure Phil won't mind.

Easter Monday saw the short away trip to South Park for what was our last away game of the 2018-19 season exactly two years to the days that we were crowned champions at Dorking (What ever happened to them ?). Another large group of travelling terrors headed down the A217 to watch a good defensive performance from "The Park" who had gone one nil up in the sixth minute. Toots got one back in the second half when Hady finally breached the solid South Park defensive wall. For the rest of the game yet another good goalkeeper kept us at bay in what was in truth a below average game for TMUFC. South Park are still in a relegation battle but the point they took from this 1-1 draw may well keep them up. A bit of controversy right at the end when Toots had a goal disallowed for offside but maybe if we're honest SP deserved something out of the game.

So FC Romania are our last opponents for this season when we play them next Saturday at Fortress Imperial.
See You There...

Now Available In the Club Shop 

Up The Stripes !!!

Groovy

Greetings Readers….. More tales from the Wandle Riverbank via the plush surroundings of Hackbridge Towers. In what may turn out to be the highlight of my footballing season Tory MP with either the worst ever  hair cut or worst ever syrup in the history of British Politics Michael Fabricant has outed himself as a Dulwich Hamlet supporter, which has proved to me two things, one, that there is a God and two that the Almighty doesn't like Dulwich that much either.....

 The meet the manager night up at the Ramble Inn went well with what I thought would just be an hour or so ending up being a good few hours in the company of fellow Terrors and of course Ash, who I promise you is a great bloke who really cares about everything connected with Tooting and Mitcham. Also, good to spend a bit of time with both Nick from Predator Pest Solutions and of course Jimmy from the Ramble, two people who have done a lot behind the scenes with sponsorship and support over the last couple of seasons. There are a lot of positive things going on both on and off the pitch. Please get involved in any way shape or form if you can spare a bit of time.

Look out for blogs from both Warren and Adam “Besty” who have started up the blog “South London Is Black and White”. Both relative new comers to Fortress Imperial but both very committed to the Terrors with a new way of looking at all things Black and White. Expect well thought out pieces of work rather than the childish and depressing stuff that I knock out when I can or the total lunacy of Sir Tim Magone’s work, who by the way still has not bought a fridge magnet from my upmarket super stall. Tight Bastard….

Please pay them a visit and contact them if you want to contribute any Terrors related articles.
Please click on the link below

https://www.southlondonisblackandwhite.com/

Well worth supporting and checking out, good to see the social media outlets growing with more TMUFC related sites and blogs. Both Adam and Warren are top blokes... buy them tea and beer and make them famous.

A big thanks to everyone who has bought stuff from the stall over the last few weeks it has allowed us in the supporter’s club to help out with player sponsorship and to help a bit with the race night which is taking place on Friday 12^th April… Every little helps and so if it’s only buying a pen it all adds up and helps around the club.

There is also going to be a fans forum at the ground this Wednesday 10th starting at 7pm so a chance to hear from various groups and people what is planned for the future. Please come along if you get the chance.

Well now to events on the pitch. I ended up missing the Uxbridge away game which of course meant I missed the 1-0 victory. Not missed too many away games this year but I do enjoy our travels. Plus the fact, our away form has been good this year and in truth if our home form had in parts matched it, the play offs could have been easily in our grasp. But as I said at the start of season I’d be happy for a middle table finish and at the time of writing it looks as if we will finish just outside the play off places.
Monday Night 1^st April was the chance to see the Under 23s who needed to beat Ramsgate to be crowned champions. A few die hards turned out for what would be a frustrating night for The Terrors as they missed a few sitters at the end as the game ended 0-0. Toots just need one more point to win the league, shame it didn't happen at Fortress Imperial. The under 23s have been really impressive this season and things are looking very positive for the future. Plenty of scouts from various league clubs turning up to see our crop of youngsters which just proves how right things are turning out at Tooting. Just to renforce things, one of my favorite players Isiah Jones has signed for Middlesboro and I wish him all the best.
Tuesday meant that loads of Terrors made the short journey down to Banstead for the Surrey Senior Cup semi final and the last real chance of claiming any silverware this season. After a few days of sun the weather looked pretty bleak for the trip though the urban hell hole of Sutton, home of the new Greggs superstore and restaurant. On what was to be a freezing night in March the Terrors over came Banstead Athletic in a rather dull game in which both teams were worried about losing. A second half penalty was enough to send us through to the Final which will take place at Dorking's new ground on Tuesday May 7th.

Should be loads of Terrors there so if you only get to one more game this season, make it this one. The only bad point for me was when I was verbaly assaulted  by The Shoe Box Sex God Bornatotter who shouted "Scum" at me as I quietly sat in the bar talking to chums. Bullying is wrong weather phyiscal or mental. It really shows what a great big fat poo pants the banjo playing lefty knob jockey really is.

Well Saturday meant a visit from the "Moists" from Molesey whos ground has matched Leatherheads in biblical tales of flooding and damp patches this season which takes some doing.

Toots running out 2-0 winners with two great goals from Tope Fadahunsi and yet another from Danny Bassett.
Should have and could have scored more but still a good game with other results still keeping us in with a chance of the play offs.
Spend the game with Lee from the St Matthews Project which was a good chance for two elderly gentleman to have a good moan and put the world to rights.
Another link below to click on to see what brilliant work they are doing in helping youngsters get involved in football and away from other distractions.

http://www.thesmp.net/


Please click on the link below for Bog End Ant's take on the Molesey game.

Bog End Ant

Please add and subscribe to his channel which is getting better and better. Can't be long before BT Sports come knocking on the door to offer him a job as a pundit.

Well my Ancestry DNA results came back which along with the standard and expected split between Ireland, Scotland, England and Wales threw in the fact I am 1% Swedish, which has helped explain a few things. I had always fancied the blonde one out of Abba when I was younger….. That big fat bum and hips really did it for me all those years ago and of course his sexy little beard.

 

 

Up the Stripes !!!!

Toots and Chunts

Well after what seems to have taken longer than Brexit to sort out Tooting and Mitcham managed to get the away fixture against Molesey played and they took the 3 points back to Fortress Imperial after going 3-0 up by half time and then letting two goals in during the second half just to bring the travelling Terrors back to earth with a jolt. I was not able to make the game so sat at home with Bog End Ant following the game online which proved to be a rather stressful 90 or so minutes, we both agreed to turn our phones of when Molesey got their second. Wedgie got sent off as well which makes it at least 43 red cards this season. It's not easy being a Terror on match days. TMUFC are one of those teams that even if they were 5-0 up in the 87th minute you still say to the bloke next to you "This could still go either way". I believe that we are now safe from relegation this season which means I now longer awake drenched in sweat and urine after another nightmare which sees us end up in a league playing various clubs named after Northern Line stations.

 

 

 

 

 

 Daryl Coleman now starts a 100 game ban after his "incident" at Bracknell which is a shame. Good to see him sign off on his break with a goal... Talking of which, the Terrors got a fair bit of exposure on Twitter after the Bracknell game, They say all publicity is good publicity so with that in mind Antonio Simeone OG  and the subsequent Twitter trolling I got when the clip of the goal made the rounds of various Non League sites was a good thing....ish
Antonio has been a rock since coming back this season.... And with that in mind I took the Twitter abuse on the chin and have spent the last few days praying to every god, idol and religious figure I could think of for Dulwich to balls up and someone to have it on film... I will get my revenge. There is still a chance they will get relegated. They lost to Oxford City so my animal sacrifices on Mitcham Common seem to be working, so fingers crossed. Now the squatters are firmly back in their Sainsbury's car park the love in is slowly reverting back to normal service and the hatred and banter is returning now that Mishi is thankfully getting back to full fitness. Not that Bog End Ant ever stopped.

 

 

 

Well it was Cheshunt's turn to play at the Fortress. I turned up at the ground to watch the Sutton United game in the bar and a chance to see the Shoe Box Love God Bornatotter and his sidekick "Dirty Barry" on the large screen. A very homoerotic sight they were as well. Looking like a "Right Said Fred" tribute band in the Northern wastelands of Chesterfield... I can only dream that one day it will be me on the big screen with the BT Sport cameras lingering on my handsome good looks as I'm beamed into millions of households all over the country. My day will come.
With a place in the play offs still mathematically possible we needed to get a good result against the high flying Chunts. Which of course means we lost. On the plus side no one got sent off and in fairness played well for long periods of time but the Footballing Gods had other ideas. Toots now need either snookers, or at least the five clubs above us to loose every game until the end of the season or a major biblical apocalypse for us to get into the play offs. Ways and Feading seemed to have sown the championship up and will hopefully celebrate by finishing building the toilets at their ground. Egham look doomed which is a shame and it looks as if our Footballing jinxes Staines way well be dropping into the division after getting totally stuffed in most of their games this season.
Still a few rumours that there may be further restructuring next season and that Staines going down may impact on what league we will play in.... Watch this space.
Up The Stripes !!!!

 

 

 

 

Happiness

Happiness...

Just spent a few hours writing down my inner most personal thoughts about the last few weeks of following TMUFC. A blog you all would have enjoyed reading and one that I'm sure a big Hollywood media mogul would have picked up on and offered me millions of pounds to turn into a huge blockbuster staring someone like Jason Statham as me. The new "Fever Pitch" for a new generation of football fans sick to death of watching "Green Street 4" on DVD... But just like the Terrors second half against Bracknell Town it all turned to poo and all the hard work got lost when my phone had some kind of fit and sent all my hard work into the dark world of the internet never to be seen again. So I've started again and this blog will be rubbish. You've been warned.

 

First things first. Sorry I've been quiet on here but my new job is taking up a lot of my free time and unlike my previous place of employment my new boss seems to have a problem with me spending all day on various social media sites slagging off Dulwich, putting the world to rights, trolling Sutton fans and telling the world how the Mighty Stripes are doing.  I was talking to one of the security guards at work and he asked me what team I supported, when I told him it was Tooting and Mitcham he looked at me as if I was some kind of mental case. Either he didn't understand how or why anyone would not want to watch the Sky TV Soccer Circus from the comfort of the sofa instead of going to games... Or he knew about Tooting and Mitcham and really thought I was a mental case supporting them.
Things going well behind the scenes at the Fortress Imperial with various events being arranged including a family day and a race evening on Friday April 12th. The supporters club will be sponsoring a race and I've got the chance to name a couple of horses. "Hunky Hackbridge" and "Bog End Love God" are looking like the ones I will go with. Bog End Ant will also be naming a horse so expect something about Dulwich.
The club shop is also going well... I say shop but it is in fact a six foot table which is set up just inside the ground. Badges, Fridge Magnets, Pens and Scarves on sale and of course you'll get to meet me.
We are also aiming to have old programmes on sale soon... Probably next season in truth and a number of kind people have donated a large selection of programmes from all over the world is well as Tooting games.

 

 

 

So back to the match action.... Tooting went west to Bracknell on the back of quite an impressive unbeaten streak with had seen us not loose since the game with Yayes and Heading. Yeah ok... a lot were draws but no one likes to loose do they. Even miserable old gits like me like a bit of happiness in there lives. We are now in the Semi Final of the Surrey Senior Cup, which although might not have the glamour of the Champions league or the history of the FA Cup, it's still a trophy and one I really want to see us win. The first 45 minutes were some of the best football I've seen for a long while, great passing and movement and really making the second placed team in the division look pretty poor on the own patch. A well taken goal from David Carty and a missed penalty from Daryl Coleman had the travelling Terrors looking for an upset But alas the second half  was to prove too much as a stupid challenge from DMG gave the home team a penalty and then an own goal which the Chuckle Brothers would have been proud of put Bracknell 2-1 up. Daryl Coleman then had a little disciplinary blip and got sent off yet again. A great player who has given us so much this season but I wish he'd calm down sometimes. Looking like a lengthy ban for him which is a shame. Of course the home team then scored a third which has pretty much ended any chance of getting into the play offs. So a game we had a good chance of getting something from went down the toilet in a way that even Theresa May would have struggled to arrange. In some ways Bracknell didn't beat us... We beat ourselves....just like a sadomasochist self harming hermit. Up The Stripes !!!

 

Poo Pantsy

Dear reader... All good things come to an end, the happiness and joy that have had me skipping around Mitcham with a smile as big as Beddington Park Sewage treatment works have been replaced by bitterness and hatred as the black clouds of doom and gloom spread to Hackbridge Towers and the surrounding areas. Missed the away day victory at Chalfont and ended up at Raynes Park Vale v Sutton Common Rovers which ended up with having four players sent off, ranting fans from both side who managed to make the terraces of TMUFC seem full of church goers and mutes. SCR won one nil by the way.... Don't let anyone say that Non League is boring. If you want to spend 90mins in the company of people loosing it big time visit your local Non League club and keep an eye on the stands and terraces.

 

 

 "Bitter hate filled old man in twisted football based rant"

 

Now it's very easy to blame match officials when you lose a match. It's very easy to look for excuses for your beloved team bad performances.... But..... It's true this time.

The ref for our game against top of the table Hayes and Yeading was truly fucking awful, turning the game into a little more than an ego trip for himself. Giving free kicks for the most minor of touches then completely missing blatant and sometimes violent infringements. H&Y first penalty looked harsh as in truth did our one.... The ref then somehow missed a nailed on free kick after a foul on Daryl Coleman and let H&Y play on a get their second goal  Can't comment on their second one which pretty much sowed the game up for the airport baggage molesters as I was getting something to eat thus saving myself the horror of watching their third goal. I've seen some pretty bad refs as I'm sure you have dear reader but this one would be in the top ten. Special mention must also go to the linesman who looked about  93 years old and who was also quite shite. People say you should respect your elders but it's fucking hard when they are that useless. He probably spent Saturday night drinking Horlicks wearing slippers and a dressing gown while the nursing home staff help change his nappy while listening to his anecdotes from his time fighting in the Boer War.

 

The team played well and should have come away with at least a point against a team who have knocked up some pretty impressive results this year. But as it was pointed out that if they have the same match officials it's no wonder they score so many goals. Hayes and Yeading have been one of the few good teams we've played this year and at least they brought along a decent amount of away supporters to Fortress Imperial. Must have made a nice change for many of them to head over to South London to get away from stealing suitcases or flying drones over Heathrow during their spare time.

It's looking like either them or Bracknell to win the title while the other clubs who make the play offs will have to contend with rules and spread sheet formulas which would test even someone like Carol Vorderman to work out. We are still in the mix for a play off place but don't ask me to explain how it will work this season if we do get there.
 

You'll be pleased to know that Bog End Ant has continued his fine work in spreading peace and love through out South London with his new Twitter account by getting blocked by the official Dulwich Hamlet twitter account for possibly upsetting a few with his review of their ground on google maps... And possibly most of his other posts on Twitter

                                                   Bog End Ant social media expert

 

Here's mine.....

Here's Bog End Ants Video Blog from the Hayes and Yeading game

Bog End Ant

Please subscribe and follow this little herbert and make him a rich and famous You Tube blogger

However, One Dulwich fan described the match day experience at TMUFC as  "Three dozen depressed old men and one potty-mouthed semi-feral child". Which in all honesty is pretty close to the truth.

 

 

 

 

Right now here are King Timmys views on the Terrors away days over at Molesey and Chipstead:

 

MOLESEY MONSOON, BAMBI THE STOCKBROKER AND A CITIZEN’S ARREST

 The Black and White Army returned to its travels about a month ago with a trip west to the Land of the Setting Sun, otherwise known as Molesey. In truth, the sun didn’t bother to turn up at all, let alone dip beneath the horizon in a flame drenched finale. It was pissing with rain more or less all day and there were already puddles on the pitch as the first of the travelling hordes arrived. Probably not our greatest turnout but we still had the majority of a threadbare crowd.
The ref saw fit to go ahead and who could blame him. Football in a swamp has always appealed to me – either playing or watching. You may not see too many free-flowing moves but it does lend a blood and guts feel to proceedings. As a deluded young fan, most of my finest hours were spent watching the Mighty Terrors sweep all before them in the shark infested waters of Sandy Lane.
Not surprisingly, it was the likes of centre half Antonio Simeone who prospered, winning everything in the air and dealing with all that came his way against a competitive Molesey outfit. Yet it was the plum clad Terrors that held the upper hand, the in-form Darryl Coleman firing home from a well worked corner routine. And so it stayed, but at the interval, trickery and treachery were afoot behind the changing room doors. The Molesey players’ incessant wining as they made their way towards the moist but firm penalty area, pointing at drops of water and pretending to shudder, was enough to persuade the ref to call it a day.
For anyone who doesn’t believe in conspiracies, how many Tooting matches in the last 40 years have been abandoned with us losing? The answer s a big fat round number and it’s less than one.  
Never mind: an afternoon of rural pornography in Chipstead beckoned the following week. The Surrey village is the bastard offspring of the Farming/Stockbroker union: pavements do not exist in this peculiar part of the world where 75% of the local populace run around in Countryfile licensed tanks and mow down anything that moves. Best to leave the roads well alone. I did so and strolled through about four miles of woods and fields, dreams of John Craven stirring my loins as I predictably got lost amongst the grazing sheep. I also spotted a young deer, skipping happily through the trees at some pace, blissfully unaware of the fate that awaited at the hands of some bastard in an armoured car on the nearby road.
There was some football as well – and with the Bog End hordes more than trebling the average gate – festive fun for all the family. There was abit too much social intercourse amongst the black and white brigade with idle chatter about modern gramophone music and crop rotation diluting what should have been a rampant atmosphere, especially when Darryl Coleman hit the target once again, bending a sweetly struck free kick into the far corner. We remained impressive almost to the end with Isaiah Jones stealing in at the far post to sweep home his tenth of the season midway through the half. But a mild-mannered panic set in when the Stockbrokers capitalized on a ref’s cock up (failing to award us an obvious free kick at the other end) and supplied a decent finish to generate a few nerve mangling moments as the locals pressed for an equalizer. Then came the last gasp heroics: breaking out from a corner, Saidou (Citizen) Khan took the ball half the length of the pitch, outpacing the defence before taking it round the keeper and applying a magisterial finish: 3-1 to the Stripes.
We’re back there again in the Surrey Cup under the candles in a fortnight. Be sure to bring a searchlight and an anti-tank gun, and to wear a trifle in your hair.

 

El Surreyco

Well goodbye to 2018 a year which in many ways was dreadful from a Terrors point of view but has ended up being pretty positive and I'm looking forward to 2019 with a fair bit of optimism after last seasons relegation. The first couple of months were pretty grim to say the least but I do feel a sense that the club is slowly and surely rebuilding. Forget the moaning and groaning that sometimes rains down from the stands and terraces. This is a good time to be a Terror... Keep the faith.

There's lots going on behind the scenes at the club. Keep your eyes peeled and ears open and if you can help in anyway on match days please do.

This Christmas period has seen us play to clubs who geographically our local rivals in the Bostik South Central. Chipstead and South Park. So two afternoons away from stuffing my face with chocolate and all the other things that hide my six pack from view when I look at myself in the mirror. I've been vegetarian for well over 20 years now and in fact my diet is mainly vegan but I still manage to be a big fat slob.

The game at Chipstead was not as one sided as our last visit when Billy Dunn destroyed them in a 7-0 victory but it was never the less a comfortable win against the May Pole dancers and Morris men of Chippy Town. A great long run from Saidou Khan who must have run almost the entire length of the pitch and then beat the Chipstead keeper with a brilliant side step was the icing on the Christmas Cake and lead to a Bog End rendition of Jingle Bells..... Oh what fun it is to see Tooting win away....

Good to see Trevor  S who does a lot of the social media at Chipstead again as he has links and many friends over at TMUFC

              The Chipstead Supporters Club Christmas Dinner and Dance..... Another great success



Next up South Park had been having a bad season so far and were stuck at the bottom end of the table but a change of manager with ex Tooting player Jay Lovett taking over at Whitehall Lane has lead to an improvement on the pitch. Toots started well going one nil up after 20mins but although the Stripes had plenty of the ball and second goal did not come. South Park played well and their defence worked well together. South Parks goal came from one of their few real attempts on goal but they were worth a point in the end.

Many seemed to view the game as two points dropped but although disappointed I'm still happy with the way the team is going. Play offs still a possibility but I personally will be happy with a stable mid table finish with the view of building for next season. Still could have been worse as one Dulwich fan was to find out when he turned up expecting to see their game against Slough not realising that the squatters had returned to the Sainsburys Car Park to play out the rest of their season.

Please check out yet another excellent Video Blog from Bog End Ant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu92P4s26b8&t=8s



He has put up loads of good stuff up during the season and is well worth subscribing to. Yes of course I'm biased but if you have any interest in the trails and tribulations of following the mighty Toots, he is well worth watching and supporting online. He lives, sleeps and breathes Tooting and Mitcham. He could have taken the easy option and followed a so called big club but he's a Terror through and through.


He recently lost his original Twitter Account so please check out and follow his new account

@anthonytmufc

Don't expect to much peace and love towards the Pink and Blue side of South London even during this time of goodwill to all men. In fact don't expect any goodwill during the other 51 weeks of the year either.

The supporters club shop (Table) is going well. We will soon be getting new scarves, pens and other Terror related merchandise.
We still have copies of Jeff Brooks book "We Woz Robbed In '59"  about Tooting and Mitcham United's epic 1958/59 season. We also have a few 2019 calendars left for sale.
Many people have offered to pass on their programme collections over to the supporters club so soon we hope to have an outlet to sell these at the ground.

                                        The 2019 Calendar, just a few left....


I'd personally like to say a special thanks to everyone who have helped and backed me up over the last year. I was going to name everyone but I was honestly worried I'd miss people out but a big thanks must go the Dave Irons who has put up with me and Ant on all those away days. Also Phil Nightingale for his help and support. So many people have helped raise the profile of this great club since the start of this season.... Cheers.


Now to end with, all of us at Tooting and Mitcham were sad to hear of the death of ex Tooting player
David Gabriel. Here is Tim Megone excellent tribute to a man who is viewed with great affection by everyone at TMUFC

DAVID GABRIEL
 Tooting and Mitcham supporters will have been shocked and saddened by the recent news of David Gabriel’s death.
 One of our longest serving and most popular players from the late ‘80’s and ‘90’s, he was at the club earlier in the year for a mini-players’ reunion and would often return to the club and chat to supporters in the bar.
 Gabs was signed for us about half way through 1987/88 by manager Barry Neville, who had himself recently arrived at Sandy Lane. The new boss had rolled in with a mini fanfare and some ambitious noises, declaring his aim to return the club to its ‘rightful’ place in the Conference (non-league top tier), and splashing the cash to go with it, notably on striker and goal machine Dave Flint, a record signing at the time (and possibly to this day for all I know). Amid the new wave of optimism, Neville had wisely counselled that Rome wasn’t built in a day (or even 30 years, he might have added), and so it proved as the season meandered into mediocrity. This didn’t stop Gabriel making a pretty decent impression, generally in central midfield where he put himself about to good effect in the air and on the ground, great in the tackle and a handy passer who could be relied on to produce the odd goal.
 A second season began with one expert, possibly under the influence of too much custard, predicting promotion that year and a place in the European super league by 2000. We quickly plummeted into the bowels of the Isthmian Premier, thrashing around desperately for survival, and as time wore on, our increasingly embittered regulars realized that Gabs was the best of all of Neville’s signings, and certainly the most committed. If others of a more treacherous nature had shown the same attitude, we would surely have survived, but it wasn’t to be, and we slithered to the first relegation in the club’s history in ’89.
 Under new manager Bob Langford, the connection between the players and the fans improved and I recall Gabs being one of the first players to buy the ill-fated Tooting and Mitcham propaganda tome, The Occasional Terrorist. Said fanzine awarded Gabs its Player of the Season award for his efforts in ‘88/’89, and few could have argued with the views of the imaginary panel.
 Even at the lower level, we floundered for a while but within a couple of seasons, we had rebuilt to launch a promotion assault and Gabriel was at the heart of things as our free-flowing football sent us surging skyward.
 Despite the turnaround and the newfound optimism at the club, Bob Langford was harshly dismissed amid backroom shenanigans and former 70’s FA Cup hero Trevor Ford appointed, bringing new players in. Injuries and competition limited Gabriels’s contribution, but it wouldn’t simply be spouting platitudes to say I don’t recall him ever letting us down, and he continued to play a part as we challenged once again for promotion, notably ‘93/94 when we were denied a place in the sun by a host of conspiracies.
 The following couple of seasons, we lost our way and fumbled around in mid table before beginning to get sucked into the relegation mire once again. Ford departed, making way for Jon Langford (Bob’s brother) to take over, and Gabriel became, once more, a pivotal figure. It was the efforts of, above all midfielders Gabs, Paul Loughlin, and Steve Fowler (all contributing vital goals) that saved us from the drop in ’96.
 They say that Euro ’96 was a big thing then, with England’s glorious quest narrowly thwarted in the semi-finals, but all that bollocks was but a fart in the wind compared with the Sandy Lane drama a few weeks earlier as we took on Thame United in a game we had to win. Roared on by the Sandy Lane faithful, we dominated but it was all becoming nerve crunchingly tense with the score line still goalless and twelve minutes to go. It was then that the ball arrived, fittingly, at the feet of our long serving hero. Gabs struck the ball firmly, unerringly, into the corner, and the ground erupted.
 The following season, Gabs was gone – and we were relegated. His absence wasn’t the only reason for our calamitous demise, but it certainly made a difference.
 Aside from his genuine ability and commitment, Gabs always had time for the fans and is right up there amongst the pantheon of Tooting and Mitcham luminaries, in my book and – I suspect – that of most of those who were around at the time.